


The Arachnoids (Rock Band AU)

by TwoKinkyBeans



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Adult Peter Parker, Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Band Fic, Bottom Peter Parker, Demisexuality, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Lovers, Even I keep getting surprised, F/M, Falling In Love, Guitars, Homophobic Language, I haven't written the smut yet so more tags will be added, M/M, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Precious Peter Parker, Rock Stars, Sex, Sexual Tension, The Avengers is a band, This fic is writing itself I swear, Tony Stark Does What He Wants, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Top Tony Stark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:20:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 27,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28391574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwoKinkyBeans/pseuds/TwoKinkyBeans
Summary: Tony Stark is considered one of the biggest rock stars in history. Being the singer and lead guitarist of The Avengers, there's no one who wouldn't want to see a glimpse of his dazzling smile. Peter, of course, is a huge fan. One day, Peter's band "The Arachnoids" is invited to open for The Avengers' New Year's Eve show.That's where Peter learns the bitter truth that Tony isn't as charming as the media portrays him. Or... Is he?-Or: Enemies to lovers with lots of stage tension for all us band lovers ^^
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Michelle Jones/Harley Keener, Peter Parker/Tony Stark
Comments: 200
Kudos: 168





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hi dears!
> 
> Buckle up for another enemies to lovers Starker AU! Bands being the initial things that pulled me into fandom altogether, I couldn't pass on this idea of course. Lots of stage gay and flirting ahead *smirk smirk*
> 
> Remember: No mosh pits allowed in this fic! (Or actually, let's do this).
> 
> Jokes aside, I won't keep you from the story any longer. Let's go!
> 
> \- Kim

“Dude,” Ned squeaks out, staring at his iPad in disbelief. Peter rests his fingers on top of the guitar strings and looks up at his friend. Ned’s gaze is fixated on the screen, eyes skimming over whatever is on there.  
MJ, who’s reading a book on the small couch in Ned’s home studio, drops the book onto her chest and cocks an eyebrow.  
“You look like you saw a ghost pop up from your screen,” she jokes, but the way she inches a little closer to peek at the iPad betrays her hidden curiosity.   
“Not a ghost.” Ned shakes his head and chuckles. “Much, much better than that.”

He hands MJ his iPad and instantly, the girl’s eyes widen.  
“Is this for real?”  
“I think so?” Ned chimes in. “It is, in fact, their official e-mail so-”  
“Okay, gimme that.” Peter snatches the device from MJ’s hands and focuses on the screen. He wants to know. Know what could possibly be this-

_ Oh. _

Peter’s chest tightens as he reads through the email. He can’t fucking believe it.  _ The Avengers, the most legendary rock band in history, is inviting them to open for the New York Eve show.  
_ “I- I think we don’t even have to discuss this?”

“Nope,” MJ says. “We’re definitely doing this.”


	2. Soundcheck Setback

Peter swears he can feel the blood drain from his face when he sees the number of security guards surrounding the stage terrain. Of course, they’re necessary to keep out anyone who tries to catch a glimpse without a valid ticket. It’s highly intimidating, though, that they’re gonna have to walk up to them and ask for entrance. He clamps his backstage pass a little tighter and swallows as he huddles a little deeper into his warm winter coat.

MJ notices and she cracks a smile at him. Her curls playfully dangle from underneath her red Christmas-themed winter hat. She looks adorable, honestly, and if it weren’t for the fact that Peter was gay as fuck, he’d probably have fallen for her at some point.   
“Impressive, uh?” MJ teases, referring to the guards. Peter snorts and nods at her. MJ might seem cool and collected, but he knows she’s an expert at hiding her true feelings.  
“Who’s gonna walk up to them?”  
“It can’t be that hard, can it?” Ned squeaks, looking equally terrified with the mere thought of talking to the guards. MJ bumps his shoulder playfully.  
“Should I do the talking, boys?”

Peter and Ned nod in unison, grateful for her offer, and follow after their lead singer timidly. The guard they’re headed towards spots them and smiles.   
“Hi there, how can I help you?” The woman’s voice is warm and kind, and Peter’s nerves settle a little.  _ Security guards are just normal people too, Pete.  
_ “We’re opening for The Avengers today, uhm, we got out passes right here?” MJ says politely and raises her own backstage pass. The guard checks it and nods.  
“Ah, The Arachnoids. Of course! Wait, let me call for Harley. He’s one of the roadies for The Avengers, sweet kid. He will inform you about everything you need to know.”

The woman asks for said roadie, Harley, using her radio and not soon after a young blonde appears. He gives them all a spontaneous hug and waves at them to follow him.  
“Come, let’s get you settled!”

-

Not much later, the three of them are waiting in front of the stage. It’s 4.20 PM, and the soundcheck was supposed to start at 3.45. Everyone,  _ everyone _ , is here. Except for Tony Stark.   
Peter doesn’t know why it makes him feel somewhat disappointed. Steve Rogers- the drummer, and Natasha Romanoff- the bassist, don’t seem to be too surprised by the absence of their bandmate.   
“Do you think he’s always this late?” Ned whispers quietly. Peter shrugs.   
“I dunno. But he better gets here soon or we don’t have time to do our soundcheck anymore,” he murmurs. He knows how it works. The headliner gets to do a soundcheck first to make sure everything works as it’s supposed to. The opening band gets the remaining time. The Arachnoids haven’t opened much, but it wouldn’t be the first time they missed out on some vital installations on Ned’s pad controller.

“Harley?” Natasha speaks into her mic. “Let’s get started without him. It’s no use waiting.” Harley sighs and throws his hands up into the air.  
“Fine. God- Why must he always…” Harley’s voice fades into an agitated mumble when he signals for the tech crew to get started. His previously bright personality is nowhere to be seen.

Steve is up first and right when his foot taps into the kick pedal of his drum kit, Tony saunters onto the stage with a smug grin on his face. He walks up to Steve and pats the man’s blond hair. Peter can see the forced smile on the drummer’s face.  
“Getting started without me, uh?”  
“Tony, grab your mic. We don’t have time for this,” Natasha spits out. “We’re kicking off with  _ The Dark World _ .”  
“Gloomy.”  
“Shut up, Tony.”  
“Thought you wanted me to sing?” The man laughs at his own joke, the sound reverberating around the otherwise quiet area.

Peter frowns and clamps his jaws together. Is… Is this the man he adores so much? A part of him wants to believe the man is simply having a bad day, but it’s clear that everyone is used to the man acting like such a jerk. And he’s not the only one who caught on.  
“What an asshole…” MJ whispers. Peter doesn’t know what to answer to that, so he just nods. She’s probably right. She always is. This isn’t just Tony Stark being in a bad mood.

Strange enough, when Tony does in fact take his microphone… Everything seems to change. His voice is warm and rough around the edges, ringing in Peter’s ears like a sweet melody demanding his full attention. The rockstar’s whole demeanor changes. He no longer carries himself like he owns the stage. No. He melts into it. Into the scenery. Like singing is all he’s ever done. All he’s ever wanted to do.

_ I've got this under control.  
_ _ Satisfaction is not in my nature.  
_ _ You must be truly desperate to come to me for help.  
_ _ We’re not gods. We are born. We live. We- _

“-alrighty, so that sucked.” Tony stops himself and shakes his head. Instantly, the near-enchanting vibe vanishes. “Can you fix that or should I come up there myself?”  
The young girl seated in the control booth doesn’t know what to say. She parts her lips and then shuts her mouth again. Her big, brown eyes innocently worried about the judgment of the legend.  
“Sir, I-”  
“I don’t want to hear it. Vocals were completely buried. Right?” Tony boasts and he looks at Natasha. The bassist only glares back. Tony scoffs. “Of course. The Red Queen is pissed off once more.”  
“Tony, cut it. This show’s important. After this, you can do whatever you want.” Steve talks over him. “Let’s get this soundcheck done and over with.”  
“Can we have a cheeseburger after? Harley? Do we have cheeseburgers?”  
“Fuck you,” is all the roadie responds and he shakes his head. Harley walks over to the control booth and whispers into the girl’s ear. A smile reappears on her face and changes the settings.

Peter bites down his lower lip. It doesn’t sit right with him, the way Tony Stark treats everyone around him. This is not a one-time thing, he’s sure of that now. He feels bad for the people that work closely with him. Steve, Natasha, Harley, the rest of the crew… It must be hard to deal with the man. Peter sighs. He’s still excited to play, heck, he never even dared to dream of playing for such a large crowd,  _ on New Year’s Eve to be precise. _ It’s all of his teenage dreams come true. 

Yet, Tony Stark’s behavior has soured the mood. Peter hopes it won’t get worse. It won’t… Right?


	3. Roadie Rush

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year, my beans <3 <3  
> -Kim

Peter sips from his hot cocoa and sighs happily. It’s so good. With sweet, maple-syrup-covered whipped cream on top of the warm and tasty liquid. He knows he might get a bad case of sugar-rush after this, but god, it tastes too good.  
He’s glad that there’d been enough time to perform their own soundcheck after all. When The Avengers were done, Tony had disappeared as suddenly as he’d arrived. It still gnaws at Peter. Something… Something about all of it doesn’t seem right. It’s off-ish. As if some of the pieces don’t quite fit the bigger picture. Yet.  
Of course, even if something _is_ wrong, it doesn’t give the rock star an excuse to be such a pain in the ass to everyone around him.

“I know...” MJ starts and her brows furrow together worriedly, “-that I don’t say this often. But jeez, I’m such a nervous wreck right now.”  
“Not just you,” Ned adds with a sigh. “My hands are sweating so badly I might lose my sticks one minute into the show.” He chuckles to himself. “Imagine - one of ‘em catapulting right at Stark’s face.”  
“Ha! Will do him good,” MJ says with a grin. She sits upright and shakes her head. “The man’s an ass. But I won’t let him sour my mood.”  
“Exactly,” Ned agrees. “Everyone else seems nice. Peter, don’t you think Harley’s nice?”

Peter blushes a bright red and he instantly shakes his head. Of course, he hadn’t missed Harley’s charming smile. Or his nice, lean body. Or-  
“Just ‘cause I’m gay doesn’t mean I want to date just any dude I meet.”  
“But, Harley’s nice tho. You know I don’t tend to like folks easily, but Harley sure hits the right vibe.”  
“Ugh,” Peter groans, but he can’t help the smile on his lips. “Alright, _alright_ , he seems okay enough.”  
“Just okay?” MJ exclaims and lets herself drop on the couch. She cranes her neck so she can look at him again. “Just you wait- Peter Parker. Just you wait.”

Peter cocks an eyebrow, but doesn’t comment on it. Instead, he sips on his drink again, enjoying the chocolate taste staining on his tongue. Sure thing, Harley _does_ seem nice. Peter has to admit he’d been too preoccupied with Tony Stark to actually notice the roadie. _Actually_ notice him.

And let’s be real, it’s not like Peter will ever see him again after this.

-

An hour later, they’re all getting ready for the show. They’re squeezed together in the little trailer bathroom- Peter smudges the black eyeliner under his eyes, while Ned brushes his teeth and MJ applies silver beads onto her cheekbones. Slowly, she’s turning into Venus; her stage persona. A small reference to the planet where actual arachnoids are found.   
“Pete- Can you draw the spider web on my face?” Ned asks and hands him the small bottle of liquid eyeliner. Peter nods and mumbles a quick ‘sorry’ as he switches places with MJ. He grabs the bottle.  
“Turn your head,” he instructs and Ned obliges. Peter sticks his tongue out when he concentrates on drawing the lines. First, a few straight lines that cross, then the small bendy lines to make it look like an actual web. When he’s finished, he gives the eyeliner back to Ned and grins.   
“Go ahead. It’s my tu-”

There’s a soft knock on the trailer door and Peter frowns.  
“I’ll get it!” MJ rushes and struggles her way out of the bathroom. “-Oh, hey! Harley. Come in!”  
Peter doesn’t miss the smug expression on Ned’s face.  
“ _Nice._ ” Ned mouths and Peter groans exasperated.   
“Nope. Nope. Ned! It’s _not happening_!” Peter shakes his head at the small eyebrow wiggle his friend sends him.

“Hey boys!” Harley peeks into the bathroom from behind the corner and he smiles broadly. “You ready for the show?”  
“Almost,” MJ laughs. “The boys always take their time transforming into lil’ spiders.”  
“It looks great,” Harley says with a wink, and Peter - thanks to all the comments from his bandmates - blushes. “But,” the roadie continues, “-Tony requested extra time to change the stage settings in between sets. The Avengers have to end at midnight, so we have to bring your set forward. Do you think you can be backstage in five?” 

Peter frowns. Again, Tony Stark is the center of the conversation and he doesn’t like it. He nods at Harley, though.  
“Yeah, we’re nearly done here.”   
“Good. I’m sorry for not informing you earlier but we just came to this decision like, a minute ago.”  
“It’s alright.” MJ grabs her silver strapped heels. “Isn’t it, uhm, a runner’s job to, well, run everything? You’re kinda doing everything today?” She asks curiously. Peter hadn’t even noticed and he looks at Harley. The boy shrugs.   
“Usually, yeah. But no one wants to work for the Big Boss anymore. So I’m an upgraded allround roadie I guess- doing all the tasks I’m not supposed to do,” he jokes. Peter can tell Harley feels bitter about it, so he decides not to dig deeper.

“We’ll be there,” Peter smiles. “And if we can help you after we play our set, please let us know.”  
“That’s very kind of you, thanks, dude. I think I got it, but I’ll keep it in mind.” Harley cocks his head and gives Peter a playful bump against his shoulder. “See ya in five, then!”  
And with that, Harley’s gone again.

Peter can’t quite describe what he’s feeling right now. Tonight’s a huge night for them. The biggest show they’ve ever played, by _far_. Peter doesn’t feel as excited anymore, though. He hates it. He should be worried about slippery hands, or a string breaking, or stumbling over his feet… Not about how the blond roadie will manage his job tonight. 

-

It isn’t until Peter grabs his midnight blue guitar and tightens the strap, that he realizes Ned never got to draw the spider web on his face. Ah well, no one will notice. He hopes. He stares at Harley, the boy running around and hastily making sure that everything works properly.  
Not even a second later, Harley runs towards them and bounces on the balls of his feet with excitement.  
“We’re ready, everything’s set up! Once you’re good to go on, the stage is yours.” Harley bites down his lip and smiles at MJ so intently that Peter has to hold himself back from nudging Ned. “After you, Venus.”

MJ’s eyes widen slightly, clearly taken aback by the charming smile and the sweet tone in Harley’s voice. Her lips curl into a smirk though, and she cocks her head to smile back at him.  
“Ready for take-off?”  
“ _Always_.”  
MJ’s eyes sparkle in the dimmed backstage lights and she shakes her head slightly. Harley chuckles, low in his throat, and waves in the direction of the stage. MJ nods firmly and eyes both Ned and Peter. No other words are needed from there. Peter grabs the fretboard tightly and takes a deep breath. Ned twirls the drumsticks between his fingers and huffs, only now realizing what they’re about to do. 

Faking confidence, the young band walks into the stage lights. The audience cheers and Peter gasps when he sees just how immensely huge the open-air area looks from up here. It’s… Almost unbelievable. Almost.

 _“Welcome…”_ MJ whispers into her microphone once the cheers of the audience die down. She grins. The small silver gems stuck underneath her eyes glimmer in the stage lights. “ _We are the inner concentric, the outer radial lineament, the spider-like volcano-tectonic structures from Venus. We have come to Earth to give you a hint of the whirling desire that is found on our planet. We are… The Arachnoids!_ ”

Peter’s lips curl into a passionate smile as his grip tightens around the fretboard of his guitar. MJ’s voice starts out soft. So soft, it’s barely audible. Ned lets his drumsticks rain down on his ride cymbal to create a space-like sound; as if stars come raining down from the vastness of space. MJ’s voice goes stronger, jumping up two octaves only to break into a sweet, captivating melody. The audience doesn’t make a single sound. And then, after a small pause in the song that doesn’t even last a second, Peter’s fingers naturally find their way onto the strings and he strums fast. Ned goes wild on the drums and MJ howls into her mic. The crowd goes absolutely nuts and Peter has to take a deep breath to control his emotions. _They like him! They like their band!_

“Yes, New York!!” MJ screams during the small instrumental part. She’s bouncing on the stage, dancing and laughing and her enthusiasm sends Peter into a buzzy haze. “Who’s ready to party on New Year’s Eve?!”


	4. World Tour Wishes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all give me so much inspiration to write omg, here, have the next chapter! <3  
> -Kim

The show is  _ on fire _ . Not literally, of course, but Peter can’t stop smiling and jumping around the stage. The audience is super enthusiastic and responsive, much better than most of the crowds they played for so far. It’s the blessing and the curse of being an opening band when people don’t know your songs yet. It’s a great shot at promoting your music, but sometimes it results in an audience that sells you off as background music while they keep chatting to their friends. Peter doesn’t blame them, before he was in a band himself, he did the same thing.

Not this crowd. Some of the teens squeezed together in the front even wear some of their merch. Peter is 99% sure that all of this is a dream. That he’ll wake up any second now and sigh when reality comes crashes down on him. But then, he also knows that all of this is in fact very much a real thing and it has his mind blown. 

  
“This is our last song for tonight,” MJ breathes into her mic. She gracefully accepts one of the other roadies handing her her bass guitar for the final piece of their set. Quickly, she puts the strap over her head. “But that doesn’t mean the party is over! Who… Is ready for The Avengers?!”   
The crowd cheers and whistles and it’s a sign for MJ to continue while the energy is at its high. She nods, Ned brings his drum sticks together four times to count down to the beginning of the song. Peter’s fingers easily travel their way across his guitar and he stalks over to Ned, playing towards him. Ned laughs and adds a little more energy and the crowd breaks into yet another wave of cheers.   
“We were The Arachnoids, you’ve been amazing for us. Thank you so much and enjoy the rest of the show!”

-

The second they set foot backstage, the three of them break into a series of squeals and a very uncoordinated, jumpy group hug.   
“Holy fuck, that was-” Peter rushes out and shakes his head in disbelief. MJ squeezes both boys into her sides and chuckles, just as amazed as the others.   
“This, this is what I want for the rest of my life,” Ned states and Peter bumps into him a little more.  
“Yes, please, I don’t want this to ever end.”  
“Crazy, it was absolutely-”

MJ never gets to finish her sentence when suddenly there’s a scoff coming up from behind them. Peter turns around.  
“So,” none other than Tony Stark mumbles as he stares them up and down. “I didn’t know you’d be this young. You legally drinking yet?” Peter frowns, unsure what to respond.   
“We’re young enough to not crash after one shot, unlike you,” MJ retorts. Tony huffs dismissively and shakes his head.  
“You must be…  _ Venus _ .”  
“Pleasure to meet you.”  
“Mmmh,” is all the famous guitarist responds. He sniffs and looks around, clearly trying to find something he can use as an excuse to get away from them. Peter feels his heart sink. During the show, he’d somehow forgotten about the mood-killing presence that was Tony, and now it hits him right in the face.

“Alright, we’ll get going. Wouldn’t want to mess up your precious extra time to set up the stage.” The man raises an eyebrow, clearly not expecting that. He laughs.  
“Go on then, little spiders,” he sneers at the boys. “Follow your Queen.”

MJ keeps her head up proudly when she walks past him. Peter and Ned quickly follow. Peter can hear how Tony diverts his attention to someone else and he lets out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding.  
“Fucker,” MJ mutters under her breath. “God, I didn’t know I could hate someone this bad. Seriously, what’s his issue?” She takes off her bass and sighs, carefully placing it in the designated standard. Peter does the same with his guitar. 

“I should go help the roadies with my drum kit” Ned whispers apologetically. “I’ll meet you back here to watch the show?”  
“Yeah!” Peter confirms. He feels a tad bit conflicted about having to watch The Avengers now. He still likes the music, obviously. He should just enjoy it as much as he can “I saw a bottle of champagne in the trailer by the way. We should celebrate after their set ends!”  
“Oh my god  _ yes, _ ” Ned piques up with newfound interest. “Well, they better hurry up then!”  
“Ha, gotta wait till midnight, honey,” MJ teases and she waves as Ned walks over to the stage again to help with the drum kit. Peter finds the cases of his guitar and MJ’s bass, and together they put them in there. 

“Guys!” Harley comes rushing past and he gives them a double thumbs up. “I don’t have much time right now, but you were  _ absolutely amazing _ out there. I fucking loved it! I’ll talk to you after the main set, ‘kay?” With that, he’s gone again. MJ stares after him and Peter grins.  
“Harley’s  _ nice _ , isn’t he, MJ?”  
“Oh, fuck you,” MJ snorts and shakes her head, her eyes sparkling playfully. “I’ll take back what I said earlier.”  
“Which part exactly?” Peter teases. MJ nudges him and wraps her arm around his shoulders.   
“That,  _ little spider, _ is anyone’s guess.”

Peter smiles and presses a quick kiss onto her cheeks and then grabs his guitar case.  
“Let’s get these back to our trailer and then we watch the show?”  
“Solid plan.”  
Together, they walk back to the trailer. Peter’s mind is still buzzing with a post-concert haze and he loves it. Tony Stark may not like ‘em, but everyone else seems to have a different opinion and that’s all that matters. 

-

The Avengers’ show is amazing. It’s very different, watching them play from the sides rather than the crowd. Peter never imagined his first time actually seeing the band live would be from this angle. He enjoys every single second of it. Ned found his way back to them easily and the three of them are vibing, singing along, and having lots of fun overall. At one point, some of the roadies and crew join their little party and Peter loves it. Loves this; meeting new people within the industry. He finally feels like maybe,  _ maybe, _ this is what his future might look like. 

Just as with the soundcheck, as soon as Tony sets foot on the stage and starts singing or playing every trace of his appalling behavior has vanished. He looks like a true rock star out there. He  _ is _ a true rock star. He owns the stage fully; pacing around with big strides, playfully cracking a joke here and there between songs. Even Natasha and Steve seem to loosen up slowly but surely. The redhead smiles wide when Tony walks over to her for a little guitar vs. bass play-off, and Steve’s motions become grander with every single hit on the drums. 

The stage lights, the smoke, the gravely warm voice coming from Tony’s throat combined with the audience singing along every single word… It’s magical. Marvelous. 

“Aaaahhh, thank you so much, everyone! Woah, what a way to end this beautiful year!” Tony breathes into the microphone, slightly out of breath after ending a particularly fast-paced song. He raises his hands and bathes in the cheers from the crowd.  
“Now!” He continues and looks behind him where there is now a projected timer, indicating it’s no more than one minute until the new year starts. “I want us all to count down from ten to one together! Anyone got any good resolutions… Nat? Steve?”  Natasha laughs and she leans in a little closer to her mic.  
“What about a world tour, Tony?”  
“Ah!” Tony exclaims and bounces on his toes. “What a good idea! We’re definitely doing that! Should we drop the tour list after our show? Steve?”  
“Why not!”  
“Alright, that’s settled then!” Tony stops moving and cocks his head, glancing at the timer quickly. It’s at 00:00:13. He rubs his hands together and raises his mic towards the audience this time.   
“Ten!” Everyone screams.  
“Nine!”  
“Eight!”  
“Seven!”  
“Six!”  
“Five!”  
“Four!”  
“Three!”  
“Two!”  
“ONE!”

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!” Everyone fucking loses it at this point. The pyrotechnics detonate the stage gerbs and it sets off in fountains of sparks. Peter grabs Ned and MJ and pulls them in for a tight hug.  
“Happy new year, and may it bring a series of life-changing events for our band!”

Harley stalks over towards the band and the other roadies with a large plate filled with long champagne glasses. He hands them out to everyone, wishing them a happy new year too. After he’s handed them to the backstage crew, he makes his way onto the stage to give the last three glasses to The Avengers. Tony raises his glass.

“Who’s ready to mosh?!”

-

It feels so utterly surreal now that everything’s over. Peter can’t quite understand the feeling. Happiness flutters inside him, but a hint of sadness clouds his brain as well. He wishes the night would never end, but it already had. The band had their little after-party in the small trailer with some random people from the tech crew and now they were packed up and ready to go home. It was only a short ride. They could’ve stayed here and slept in the trailer, but honestly, they were all longing for their own beds to crash in.  
“I’ll go get the van,” Peter says with a smile and grabs the keys. He’d only had one glass of champagne at midnight, and that’d been two hours ago so the alcohol has left his system already. He’s good to drive. 

The van is parked not far from the stage terrain, but he makes sure to dress up warmly to face the outside world. It’s not freezing at all, but cold enough to want the comfort of a good winter coat. He jumps out of the van and starts walking. He passes the stage and shakes his head. It looks so massive from down here, and he can’t believe he was  _ on _ it. 

“Howdy, space boy?” 

Peter freezes, startled. He immediately realizes who spoke to him, though. Peter grits his teeth together and slowly turns to face The Avengers’ guitarist. He’s so done, so utterly done with the man’s cocky behavior. And you know what? Peter’s got nothing to lose anymore. They played, they had their fun out there, it’s time he stands up for him and his band. They might be young, and new to the industry- but he’s proud of what they’ve built so far.

“Seriously, what’s your problem with us?” Peter clamps his teeth together right after he’s said it. The surprise sparking in Tony’s eyes is worth it, though.  
“I beg your pardon?”  
“Everything we do, say, or even look at is reason enough for you to humiliate us over. I looked up to you, big, big time. Guess I was wrong about you.” Somehow, that’s enough to silence the other man. He simply stares back at Peter, clear astonishment written over his face. It confuses Peter.

“You got some nerve, kid,” Tony says, finally. His voice wavers. Peter shrugs, unsure what else to do. He expected Tony to fight back instantly, but the man looks truly thrown off-guard. Tony sniffs. “I gotta admit, I admire that.”  
“You  _ what? _ ”  
“I’m serious. People don’t talk back to me unless they know me. Until you and your band came hopping along apparently.”  
“Still doesn’t explain a thing.”

“Look, Bambi-”  
“Bambi?”  
“Spiderling, then. See, it’s nothin’ against you- or your little band. On the contrary, I think you kiddos got something unique going on out there.” Tony pauses for good measure. “The thing is, I’m just having an incredibly shitty day.” For the first time, Peter believes he can see through the cracks of Tony’s persona. He doesn’t look annoyed. No, it’s definitely no annoyance. It’s fear.  
“Oh?” Peter asks quietly, not sure how to handle the different turn of this conversation. Not sure which boundaries he might be overstepping.

As soon as the cracks showed, they’re gone again. Tony straightens his shoulders and presses his lips together into a thin line.  
“Right.” The man sniffs once. “I forgot how clueless  _ I  _ was when I was your age.” Peter snorts.  
“You got issues man, I hope you sort them out soon. People are fed up with you.”  
“You don’t know me. Or them.”  
“No, that’s true. But I do know that simple annoyance can turn into resentment real fast. Don’t be a dick.”  
“Oh, fuck off. You’re too young to be wise like that.”  
“And you’re too young to be so cranky.” Peter says and he sighs. He shrugs, feeling a little bit helpless. It’s actually rather pathetic how Tony behaves. It’s not Peter’s problem to solve.

“My band’s waiting for me. I gotta go.” Peter starts to turn around again but Tony stops him.  
“Wait, kid, what’s your name?”

“Peter. Peter Parker.”

And with that, he walks off.


	5. Coffee Confusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the love omggggggg I love all your kudos & comments!!!! <3
> 
> Fun fact: I always have a hard time writing plot that doesn't contain immediate smut but for this fic I'm going so hard omg <3
> 
> Enjoy the new chap!
> 
> -Kim

“Goodmorning to our new rock star!”  
Peter groans when May flips the light switch. The brightness stings his eyes and he grabs the blankets to cover his face.  
“Morning,” he says groggily. He doesn’t want to leave his aunt standing there so he lowers the sheets after all and peeks at her. “Hi.”  
“Scoot over,” she orders him. “You gotta tell me  _ everything _ .” Peter does as she asks and moves a little closer to the wall to create space for her.

May had been very upset that she wouldn’t be able to attend the show. She’d already signed up to help out in the local homeless shelter on New Year’s Eve. As much as she hated that she'd miss Peter's first big set, she couldn’t bail on that.  
“Well?” She asks, her eyes shimmering with pride. Peter chuckles and enthusiastically tells her all the juicy details. About the huge stage, great crowd and how he still feels that none of it is real. He drops a quick remark about Tony too, but he doesn’t want to spend too much attention talking about the man. Tony's simply not worth it.   
“...And we stayed for three more hours having a good time with some crew members. Gosh, May, it’s been… I don’t even know how to describe it!” He chuckles in amazement. “It’s insane, like, what even?!"  
“I’m so, so proud of you Peter,” May says quietly and leans in for a tight hug. “Alsooo, did you know you made the news?”  
“What?!”  
“The reviews about the show are off the charts! And The Arachnoids are mentioned more than once, here lemme show you.” 

Peter turns to sit upright and he stares at May’s phone to read the article she’s talking about. His eyes widen at seeing the headline.

**_The Arachnoids: Will these talented youngsters make it to The Avengers’ World Tour?_ **

Peter huffs.  
“As if! There are way more qualified bands than us.”  
“Yet they asked  _ you _ for this show.”  
“Mh,” Peter responds, his lips pressing together. It’s slowly starting to be a little overwhelming. The attention, the praise, the success. When they started The Arachnoids for a high school project four years ago they never thought any of this was possible.  
“We’ll see,” he says eventually. May nods understandingly and ruffles through his hair. 

“If you go see your friends today, could you maybe hop by the shelter? I forgot my bag there last night.”  
“Of course,” Peter smiles.  
“Thank you. You hungry? I made breakfast!” Peter frowns.  
“What did you make?”  
“Oh, don’t be so suspicious. I know how to make waffles, thank you very much."

Peter chuckles.

-

“Peter! Hi!”   
Peter waves at his friends and walks over to the small table they're seated at. He takes off his thick coat, carefully draping it on the backrest of the chair. He slumps into the seat.  
“So, how are my famous friends, mh?” He grins and wiggles his eyebrows. MJ laughs and shoves an extra large caramel latte his way.  
“Not that famous, no one in the shop knows who we are.”  
“Except for Brad, of course,” Ned chuckles and waves at the barista. Brad’s face lights up and he nods his head at them. MJ shrinks in her seat.

“Hey, you okay?”  
“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m fine,” she murmurs. Peter sighs and puts his hand on top of hers. She looks up.  
“Em, we can find a different coffee shop if you want.”  
“Yes,” Ned joins in. “I’m sorry- For a second I forgot about… Y’know. I’m sorry MJ.”

The girl shakes her head and presses her lips together. Her eyes clearly show that Brad is still a sore spot for her.  
“No, I’m alright. Really. I don’t want to change my life just because of the breakup. I like this place, and if he’s a part of it… So be it. Can we, uhm, talk about something else?” 

Instantly, Ned starts rambling on about this new Netflix series he and MJ are both watching and Peter smiles. Ned is sweet, knowing exactly what to say to distract her. Peter still feels bad for their friend. MJ and Brad made a cute couple.  
She'd told Brad that she’s demisexual and how she needed more time to figure out her feelings for him. Just as she started to realize that  _ maybe _ she did like him like  _ that _ ; he got impatient and left.

It’s been nearly a year now, but it’s clear it still hurts her. Peter wishes he could do something to take her sadness and insecurities away. She’s so scared to meet someone new- scared they might dismiss her for her sexuality as well. That’s why he’d been so thrilled to see her interact with Harley last night. Of course, she doesn’t know the roadie even a tiny bit so any attraction is out of the question. It’s a step in the right direction, though.  
“Peter, have you started watching it yet?”   
“No, not yet, I-”

MJ’s phone buzzes and she frowns.   
“I’m sorry, let me check real quick.” She opens the message and Peter cocks his head curiously. She  _ never _ checks on her messages in the midst of a conversation. MJ giggles and quickly starts typing back, shaking her head lightly. After she sends her message, she puts her phone down and eyes the boys.  
“What?”  
“You know what!” Ned teases. “Do tell?”  
“Guys! It’s just- It’s just, uhm, Harley? He sent us a couple of pictures from our show last night. Didn’t you get them?” Peter forces himself to not smile too broadly.   
“I didn’t check yet.”  
“Me neither,” Ned adds. “Can we see them?” He reaches for her phone, but MJ quickly puts her hand over it, sliding it towards herself. She smiles at them sheepishly, knowing damn well they aren’t stupid.

“It’s  _ nothing _ ,” she stresses. “I swear. Y’know I don’t… Yeah. He wanted my number just in case. He's actually in a discussion with the managers now, lobbying for our band to be the support act on their new world tour.”

“World tour? Wait, so, the press wasn’t just saying things?” Peter is so confused right now. “Does Harley think we’re that good?”  
“Not just Harley, Pete. Everyone loved us.”  
“Except for Stark,” Ned scoffs. “He'll die of a heart attack if we join them.”  
“He hates everyone so I don’t think it matters that much who the support act is,” MJ sighs. Peter swallows, thinking back on his short talk with the man yesterday.

“He… He likes us though. He, eh, told me.”  
“He what?”  
“Peter! What happened?!” Peter sighs and wraps his hands around his large coffee mug. He shakes his head.  
“Honestly, not that much. When I went to get the van I ran into him outside. He… Said we’re unique and that he was having a shitty day. After that he went all asshole again, but… I dunno. I think there’s more to his behavior than we thought.”

MJ and Ned are quiet for a good second and Peter takes the opportunity to finally sip from his drink. The sweet and bitter mixture fills his mouth and he hums quietly to himself. This will forever be his favorite drink.   
“Most assholes are assholes for a reason,” Ned finally adds to it. “But it doesn’t make them any less shitty.”  
“Oh no, for sure,” Peter agrees. “I told him he should get himself sorted out.” MJ laughs and pats him on his back. Peter grins proudly.

Just when he wants to take another sip from his drink, MJ’s phone buzzes again. She stoically ignores it, clearly trying to evade more teasing. Peter cocks an eyebrow at her.  
“You can look, don’t worry. We were joking, but we'd never judge you, I promise. Harley’s nice and it’s sweet that he wants to help us.”   
“Exactly,” Ned smiles. “You know we love you. Completely.”  
MJ casts her eyes down, but she can’t hide the happy, yet fragile smile on her face. Peter hates how her sexuality makes her question herself so often. He makes a mental note to not tease her about Harley anymore. Not until she brings it up again.

Slowly she takes her phone and reads the message she received. MJ gasps, eyes widening.   
“Holy shit, I’m-”  
This time, she shoves her phone toward the middle of the table. Peter and Ned immediately lean forward to read whatever is on there.

_ Good news!!!😱😱 I talked to Happy & Bruce and they’re gonna contact you, possibly tonight!! Ofc, nothing’s set yet, but they're super excited! If you wanna rock the world girl, take this chance! 💫🥁🎸 _

Peter leans back against his chair, utterly dumbfounded. Until yesterday, they never even played for more than 400 people at once. Now they're invited for a  _ world tour _ , in front of  _ huge crowds _ . He bites onto his lower lip.  
“I-I’m gonna have to discuss this with May,” he whispers quietly. “Do you… Do you guys want to do this? If we get the chance?”

“I think we all need to think about this,” Ned mumbles. “My first reaction is  _ yes, of course! _ But God, I’m absolutely terrified.”  
“Yeah,” MJ sighs. “It’s a lot. What if we go home, think about it, and meet each other at my place for dinner?”  
“I think that’s a good idea,” Peter breathes and he looks into his cup. The brown liquid is no longer steaming. He brings the mug towards his lips and chugs it down in one go.

He’s got some thinking to do.


	6. Denmark Daydream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LOVE YOU GUYS!!! <3<3 Here, have a next chapter!
> 
> And special thanks to Lien for being the best-ever beta out there, ily! <3

Peter nearly presses his nose against the small plane window as he tries to take in every single detail of the beautiful horizon. It all looks so small from up here still, but he knows they’ll land soon. He can’t believe they’re in Europe now.  _ Europe. _ He never thought he’d ever make it here. 

Of course, he wouldn’t have been able to if it weren’t for the fact that The Avengers’ management is paying for their travel expenses and accommodation. He’ll be forever grateful for that. If it weren’t for that, they wouldn’t have been able to join this tour. The costs would’ve been too high. Most of the venues do have a small fee for the opening band, but not all of them and it’s not much.

“Peter, I can’t see shit. Move a bit, will ya?” MJ teases and Peter chuckles, leaning back slightly so both she and Ned can look outside as well.  
“Oh! That’s The Blue Planet Aquarium,” Ned informs them proudly. “It’s supposed to be a fun one and it’s super close to the airport.”  
“Do you think we have time for that?” Peter asks, frowning slightly. He’s never been on a tour before, but he’s pretty sure they’re not going to have much time off.  
“No clue, but if we do, I’m definitely goin’.”

“ _ Dear passengers, we’re nearing Copenhagen airport. It’s… _ ” Peter doesn’t listen to the rest of the announcement. He’s too excited and distracted to focus.   
“Do you think one of those buildings out there might be the Royal Arena?” Peter asks dreamily. He knows it probably isn’t, but the venue is supposedly close, so who knows? 

Not soon after the announcement, they set foot on the ground after a long flight. Peter looks up at the sky. It’s a bit cloudy, but nothing too bad. The cold midwinter air wraps around him and he zips up his coat as he descends the airstairs. It’s been a good six weeks since they sealed the deal with the management of The Avengers and now, here they are.  
“Ugh, it’s so cold,” Ned mumbles as he too hides in his winter jacket. MJ pats his back.   
“It’s only gonna get colder from here on.”  
“What? Why?”  
“We’re headed even further north the next couple of shows. Brace yourself!” She laughs cheerfully and jumps off the last step. 

They make their way towards the baggage reclaim area, laughing and joking as they pick up their bags, filled to the brim with clothes and stage gear. They decided to rent out drum kits on the go for Ned since dragging it along would be too much of a hassle, so thank God they don’t have to carry that with them now. All he brought is his control pad and a handful of drum sticks.   
After they’ve gathered all their belongings, they make their way towards the attached hotel. Tomorrow, they’ll pick up the van to tour all the way through the continent for the other shows. For now, walking will do.

The walk is silent, each of them taking in the strange, new surroundings.  
“What time’s soundcheck again?” MJ asks. “I wanna take a nap, if possible. I’m thoroughly exhausted from that flight.”  
“What? How? Didn’t you sleep on the plane?” MJ shakes her head and Peter sends her an apologetic smile. “Soundcheck’s at three so you can definitely take that nap.”  
“Thank God.”

-

MJ crashed the instant she dropped onto the bed. Peter and Ned went to see the aquarium Ned had talked about on the plane. It wasn’t too big of a building, but especially the tropical species had been lovely to see. At each tank, there’d been lots of information about every single one of them. The presentation about overfishing, the effects of climate change and plastic waste on sea life and the coral reefs had been very eye-opening as well.

Now, they’re leaning against the fences at the control booth, watching The Avengers’ soundcheck. Tony isn’t as much of an asshole today, but he still takes his sweet time. The young, red-haired boy in the control booth gives him an apologetic shrug.  
“I’m sorry,” he says, his thick Danish accent shining through, “-there’s not gonna be much time left for you.”  
“It’s alright,” Peter says and then sighs. He already saw it coming. It won’t be the last time it’ll happen. Ned looks a little more worried. He’d been hoping to try out his new drum kit to get used to it.

“MJ, do you think there’s time to practice by ourselves after soundcheck?” Peter asks for Ned, but the girl doesn’t respond. Instead, she’s smiling at the stage. Peter grins as he follows her gaze. While Tony is holding a monologue on how his voice overrules the sounds of his guitar, Harley is crawling around the stage to tape some of the cords to the floor. He tears some of the gaffa tape with his teeth and carefully sticks it to the ground. Tugging on the cables to make sure there’s no more tripping hazard.   
“Em?”  
“-W-what?” MJ stutters, ripping her gaze away from the roadie. Peter nudges her playfully.  
“ _ Earth to Venus, Earth to Venus _ -”  
“Oh, you!” She laughs awkwardly. Peter snorts, and right when he wants to make another comment, Tony’s voice cuts through.

“Having fun down there?” His voice is cold and irritated. Whatever the slightly good mood was that Tony was in, it’s gone now.  
“Uhm,” Peter stumbles.  
“Tony, it’s alright, don’t-” Steve tries from behind his drums, but Tony doesn’t listen.  
“Listen, funny guy,” he threatens. “You might be talented, and unique, but this isn’t your tour. Remember that, or we  _ will _ send you home.”

Peter presses his lips together and nods curtly. The worst thing is that Tony  _ is _ completely right. It’s rude and disrespectful to laugh through their soundcheck. Peter feels absolutely mortified and he wishes he could vanish.  
“Good. That’s settled then. Now that the spiderlings are quiet, let’s continue. Nat, play the intro of  _ Endgame _ again?”

-

After The Avengers were done with their soundcheck, the guy in the control booth apologized once more for the lack of time. He did tell them there should be around thirty minutes left before the doors open, which was just about enough for Ned to become accustomed to his new drum kit.

Once they’re asked to leave the stage, Peter’s nerves come crashing down on him.  
“God, it’s really happening isn’t it?” He mumbles quietly as they leave the stage.   
“Sure is,” a familiar, rumbling voice answers him. Peter freezes and looks up, only to find Tony laying on top of a set of large transport cases for all the equipment. His left leg’s dangling from it and he cranes his neck to watch the three musicians.  
“Europeans,” Tony says and he scoffs. “They always show up for the support act too. Seems you got yourselves a big crowd tonight, kiddos.”

“Are you purposefully trying to make us more anxious?” MJ asks and squints her eyes at him.  
“No, not really.” Tony sits upright and grins at them smugly. “Just stating truths here. It’s fairly different from US shows. Figured I’d give you a heads up.”  
“Well, it’s great Tony, thanks,” Ned says sarcastically and Peter looks at his friend in surprise. Ned doesn’t easily speak up like that, and Peter can’t help the proud feeling spreading in his chest.  
“You’re welcome,” Tony hums with a smile, very much not oblivious to the sarcasm but purposefully ignoring it.

“What are you even doing up there?” Peter asks to change the topic of this already weird conversation. Peter swears he sees a hint of insecurity cross the man’s face. But then, he can’t see it very well from down here.  
“Oh,” Tony shrugs. “Not much, actually. Relaxing before the show starts. I can actually see the entire space from up here. Nice job on the drums man, though, Peter your guitar playing was a little off.”  
“ _ What? _ ” Peter huffs out a breath. He knows damn well how he plays and he doesn’t recall messing up. He shakes his head. “I don’t have time for this, let’s go-”  
“No! Wait.”

Peter sucks at his teeth and raises his eyebrows at Tony. Why does he seem so desperate for the conversation to keep going?  
“The solo. In that song you played, what’s it called… Homecoming?”  
“Yeah?”  
“If you play the F on the D-string rather than the A one, it’ll be much easier and flow better. Especially ‘cause you play it so often.” Peter swallows and narrows his eyes.  
“Right,” he takes a deep breath. “Good one.”   
“I can teach you some more if you wanna.”  
“Not a chance.”

“Guys! Guys, have you seen Tony, I-” Harley comes running in and stops dead in his tracks when he spots Tony on top of the cases. He rolls his eyes and shakes his head. “Of course.”  
“Oh! Hi there, Harls!” Tony says cheerfully. It almost makes Peter smile.  _ Almost _ . Is this Tony Stark opening up and showing a deeper layer of himself?  
“You know you have an interview right now, man! Why aren’t you there?” Tony’s face darkens at that right away.  
“You know why,” Tony pushes out grimly. Harley’s expression softens at that.  
“I do, but we talked about this. Please?” Tony’s face completely changes after that. The slight openness that had been there seems to have never existed at all. Tony’s face is harsh and unreadable. Peter wonders if maybe, all of Tony’s rude behavior is simply a mask he wears to protect himself from something. Anything. What could it be?  
Tony jumps off the cases and walks away without saying another word.  
“I’m sorry,” Harley apologizes to them before quickly rushing after the man.

Peter slowly turns towards his bandmates.  
“What just happened?”


	7. Headstart Hero

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOOF, a little later than I wanted this to be updated, but I had to cover for a sick coworker!
> 
> Here's the new chapter y'all, I hope you enjoy it!!

Peter knows  _ exactly _ what it feels like to be standing in the crowd, anticipating the start of a show. The strange connection you feel with all these people that you’ve never met, the laughter, the chatter, the excitement coursing through your veins as you wait for the lights to finally dim.   
Standing backstage holds the same kind of elation; yet it’s completely different. He too, is waiting for the lights to dim. Every time the lights flicker, every time the crowd makes a little more noise, he feels his heart skip a beat. It can’t be healthy to be so tense. His ribcage feels tight and he swallows. Peter tries to shift his guitar strap a little in the hopes of gaining some breathing space. Not that it helps of course, ‘cause it’s not the strap that restrains him.

Next to him, MJ and Ned are fighting equal battles with themselves. Playing for the New Year’s Eve show had been challenging enough, but somehow, this feels different. Like they’re gonna have to prove their worth. This is their chance to get their name out. To connect with potential fans. It’s overwhelming. Very, very much so.

_ It shouldn’t be long now, please, please don’t keep him waiting any longer. He- _

The lights dim at last, and Peter is hit with the screams emerging from the crowd. Astonished, he knows he should jump to action right now. It’s almost as if someone else takes over his body when a broad smile plasters itself on his face and he runs into the stage lights.   
_ “Welcome!” _ MJ laughs into her microphone. She looks absolutely stunning. Her aquamarine dress swirls around her loosely as she walks. Venus, for sure.  _ “We are the inner concentric, the outer radial lineament, the spider-like volcano-tectonic structures from Venus. We have come to Earth to give you a hint of the whirling desire that is found on our planet. We are… The Arachnoids!” _

Ned kicks off with a fast-paced rhythm, the deep vibrations of the bass drum tingling on Peter’s skin. Everything about this makes him feel so utterly hyped up. He lets his pick rain down on the strings, earlier nerves forgotten. His fingers glide over the notes so easily. The stage lights are blinding, but he knows how big the arena is. He knows exactly how many people are out there- watching him, cheering for him. 

He walks forward, dancing to MJ’s sweet harmony, and slides to his knees to get a break from the lights for a quick second. The group of young adults pressed against the front barrier raise their hands to him and scream. Peter’s eyes widen when he sees one of the girls is wearing a bright-pink tee with ‘ _ The Arachnoids’ _ written on it with a black marker. He grins widely at her and winks. The girl instantly tears up and brings her hands together in a heart-shaped symbol.  _ “I love you, Peter!”  _ She mouths excitedly.

Peter can’t help the stunned chuckle that rises from his chest and he stands up again, walking over to MJ while quickly waving to the girl in the crowd once.   
Then, he turns around and leans against MJ, his head dropping backwards onto her shoulder. MJ plays along. She moves her hand up to ruffle through Peter’s hair as she keeps on singing through the high notes of the chorus.  _ “And now we’re hoooo-hoooooome!” _   
Peter jumps away from her and bounces on the balls of his feet and moves his head along to the music. He runs towards the other side of the stage, giving the crowd a good show as he keeps playing with his instrument raised high in the air.

Somehow, his glance is pulled towards the small backstage area he can see from there. Tony’s seated on top of the transport cases again, watching the show intently. Peter can’t help feeling surprised at the fact that Tony’s here watching them play. 

Peter swallows when he realizes that his solo is coming up, the exact one Tony had given him the unsolicited advice about earlier today. He presses his lips together and makes the split-second decision to play it Tony’s way. He may not have practiced it yet, but he knows he can do it. He  _ wants _ to. Why he wants to please Tony so badly is a mystery to him, but he doesn’t have time to think about it. That’s how he takes a few steps closer towards the edge of the stage and takes a deep breath. His fingers find their usual pattern, his pick hitting each snare perfectly-  _ D-string,  _ he reminds himself.  _ Play the F on the D-string _ . 

And oh, Tony had been right. Peter flies through the solo so much easier than ever before. Endorphins release from his brain and make him feel nice and warm all over. He turns his head to look at Tony again. The man’s eyes are wide as he watches Peter play all the way through the solo with ease, and Peter wonders if the man had expected him to actually listen. Peter most certainly didn’t.

As soon as the solo ends, he breaks his gaze with Tony’s and resumes playing chorus’ rhythm, walking over to Ned who’s happily smashing on his drums. The new kit suits him perfectly. Peter has to suppress the urge to look at Tony again and he scoffs quietly to himself. He’s starting to get weirdly attached to the other guitarist. Asshole or not, there’s…  _ something _ about the man and it’s inherently annoying to Peter. So, that’s why he refuses to look over even once for the rest of the show, and by the end of the set, he’s nearly forgotten that it even happened. 

Nearly.

-

“You guys were fantastic out there- Woah!” Harley laughs and pulls Peter into a tight hug. Peter chuckles, patting the other boy’s back in return. It’s a little awkward, with his guitar between them, but the intention is what matters most.  
“Thanks, dude!” Peter sighs happily and pulls back. He only then realizes how much his shirt is sticking onto his skin. “Ugh, I need a change of clothes.” Harley chuckles at that.  
“One month into this tour and you won’t even notice anymore,” he jokes. “We’ll all walk around smelling like shit- part of the fun, I say!” Peter laughs and shakes his head at that. Harley, in return, looks very pleased with himself.

“Hey, I gotta go switch the stage set-up- eh, tell MJ I’ll talk to her later?” Harley asks, leaning in a little as if he doesn’t want anyone else to hear it. MJ’s standing a couple of feet away from them, talking to Liz, one of the other roadies working on this tour.  
“Uhh, sure!” Peter answers, noticing the small blush that spreads on Harley’s cheekbones. The blonde grins and glances over at MJ once more before taking a step back. He finger guns at Peter and winks.  
“You’re a hero!”

Peter snorts, it’s adorable how clearly the boy is trying to get MJ’s attention. Not that he actually has to try very hard. MJ and Harley have been messaging each other every single day since the New Year’s Eve show. Sometimes they even facetime. Peter can tell that MJ is slowly starting to open up to the idea of Harley possibly liking her, but he’ll keep his mouth shut about it. She has to figure it out herself. In her own time. 

“Hero,” Tony scoffs from behind him. Peter has to actively keep himself from rolling his eyes at the remark and he turns around.  
“That’d be me,” he deadpans. Tony lets out a surprised laugh at that and Peter feels a stupid happy feeling emerging in his chest.  _ No _ , he reminds himself.  _ Don’t let him get to you. _ He doesn’t want to befriend the man so quickly. He might be less of a prick today, but that doesn’t mean he’s suddenly a kind presence to be around. He’s very much not that.  
“ _ Space hero _ … Has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?”  
“I guess.” Peter eyes the man, unsure what he wants from him. Tony licks his lips once and tilts his head.

“So,” Tony starts slowly. “Seems my advice wasn’t that bad after all, mmh?”  
“I never said it was bad.”  
“But you didn’t like it.”  
“I didn’t ask for help, Tony.” Peter narrows his eyes a little, trying to read the man’s face. Tony’s deep brown eyes hold something so… Unexplainable. It’s no fragility, neither is it playful. It’s some weird mixture of every possible emotion out there. It makes it feel both very intense and deep, and closed-off at the same time. There’s so much to see that it’s impossible to know what’s truly going on. Peter sighs. “Unsolicited, but it worked. Yes. Thank you.”

“Ah,” Tony exclaims proudly and Peter instantly wishes he hadn’t said it. It’s irritating and he knows that whatever words Tony will speak next, it’s gonna be something cocky again. “When the student is ready, the teacher appears. Mmh, never thought it was true. When do we start your classes?” Peter huffs and looks away for a second.   
“I’m  _ not _ taking classes from you. I’m sure you got better things to do than waste your time on beginners like us.” Peter instantly regrets his words when he sees a flash of rejection on Tony’s face. The man straightens his shoulders, eyebrows furrowing together. Peter knows that whatever he said, it triggered the man’s jerkiness full force.  
“Fine, I’m just trying to be nice. But you’re right, Peter. I got better things to do,” Tony spits out and he stalks off.   
“Fuck,” Peter mutters to himself. He messed up.  _ Nice job, Parker. Keep going like this and you’ll find your ass on a plane back to New York first thing in the morning. _ He wishes he knew what had set Tony off so much, but at the same time, he can feel anger bubbling up inside him. It’s so utterly frustrating that Tony can’t handle  _ anything _ without stomping his feet and throwing a tantrum. It’s not Peter’s problem. It’s not his issue to solve. “Go fuck yourself,” he mumbles quietly. Feeling annoyed with the fact that the whole, hazy feeling of post-concert bliss has shattered. 

“Hey Pete, we killed it out there!” Ned interrupts his thoughts as the drummer nudges his side. “And those fangirls in the front, can you fucking believe it? We got  _ fans! _ ” Ned’s enthusiasm instantly lightens Peter’s mood a little. Tension leaves his body and he grins widely at Ned.  
“We’re gonna be huge, Leeds. One day, I’m telling ya!”  
“Let’s toast to that, boys!” MJ chimes in and hands both of them a small bottle of water. Peter eagerly takes it from her hands and skews the cap off.

“You,” he says as he brings the bottle to his mouth, “-are a lifesaver.”  
“I know,” she smirks and chugs some water down as well. “Has anyone seen Harley? He said he’d see me after our set,” she then asks, voice wavering slightly. She cranes her neck to try and spot him.   
“He just hopped by, told me to tell you he’d see you later. Not sure what he was up to, but running ‘round as always,” Peter tells her. MJ seems pleased with the information that Harley told Peter to make sure she wouldn’t feel left behind.  
“Poor dude,” Ned mumbles. “I’m sure he doesn’t get paid even half of what he deserves.”  
“He loves the job, though,” MJ smiles. She tilts her head at Peter. “I saw you talking to Tony, by the way! He seemed nice today?”

Peter scoffs.  
“He sorta was, in his own way. But one wrong word and he turned all bitchy again.”  
“Ugh, there’s always  _ some _ issue with him, isn’t there? Do you still wanna watch their set after that?”  
“Yes,” Peter answers. “They’re a good band. Who knows when we’ll be kicked off the tour, we should enjoy it while it lasts.” He tries to bring it jokingly but knows it sounds petty as fuck. Dammit, Tony sure brings out the worst in him.   
“Yeah,” MJ smiles. “I vote we stay.”  
Peter simply nods and takes another big sip from the water and wipes the small stains of sweat from his forehead using his sleeve. He still feels low-key guilty about the whole encounter with Tony. The least he can do is watch the show and give them their support. He’ll have to try to ignore the nagging thoughts clawing at his mind. He can do that, he hopes.


	8. Ice Cream Ignition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't kill me after reading this aljsdflsadflj ehehe  
> <3 Kim

The next couple of days, Tony only turns up for the soundchecks and live shows. Other than that, no one knows where he’s at. He doesn’t linger, doesn’t walk in early, doesn’t join in on the badly organized McDonalds dinners with everyone. Everyone’s there. Bruce, Happy, Natasha, Steve… But not Tony.  
Peter can see that Natasha and Steve are worried. They keep glancing at Tony whenever he  _ is _ there. Which is enough proof for Peter to finally be sure that something’s actually wrong. It doesn’t seem Tony trusts anyone to help him. Instead, he closes off. He hides. Runs away.   
Peter wonders if it has anything to do with the exchange he had with Tony after the Copenhagen show. He still feels bad about it and wishes he could talk to the man to apologize, but he hasn’t gotten a single chance.

Right now, Ned’s driving their van along the boring roads of Finland. They’d taken the ferry from Umeå to Vaasa yesterday, and from there it’s another 5-hour drive towards Helsinki. MJ’s face timing with Harley again and Peter can see Harley chilling out in one of the bunk beds on The Avengers’ second tour bus. MJ’s wearing headphones so he can’t exactly follow their conversations, but it’s clear they’re having a good time.

Peter smiles and sighs, closing his eyes for a second. It’s tiring, much, much more tiring to be on tour than he’d expected. Of course, he’d known he wouldn’t get enough sleep. That the stress and hectics of hopping from one city to the other are exhausting. Yet, they’re only five days into the tour now and he’s already utterly wrecked.   
They don’t have a show until tomorrow night, so today is a nice day-off. Then, they play their last Scandinavian show and head off for the Baltic States. He’s looking forward to exploring Helsinki. And sleeping in tomorrow. That’s gonna be lovely as well.

“Alright, we’ll see you there!” MJ chuckles into her phone and then raises it in the air. Harley waves at both Peter and Ned - happy as always - and with one last goodbye he disconnects. MJ takes her headphones off and sighs, dropping her head against the window. She takes a couple of seconds for herself before turning around in her seat.  
“Do you guys think Harley, uhm, likes me?”

Ned can’t help but laugh, but quickly presses his lips together. He winks at the girl, whose eyebrows are now raised.  
“Of course, we can’t be certain…” Ned starts and Peter finishes the sentence. “But he sure seems interested.”  
“Oh,” MJ responds to that and sinks back into her seat, contemplating that. When the realization hits her she groans.   
“Why does this always happen to me…” she mutters.  
“Don’t you want him to like you?” Peter asks carefully. MJ chews on her bottom lip as she watches him through the rear mirror.  
“I don’t know? I… I really like hanging around with him. I… I guess that long-term, I  _ might _ see it happen?” She sucks at her teeth. “It scares the fuck out of me. What if… Y’know- What if he’s like Brad? I don’t know if I can go through that shit a second time.”

“Look,” Ned starts slowly. “No one can promise you that things will work out, granted you want it too, of course. Not even Harley himself can promise it. But it might be worth a shot to talk about it with him?” MJ scoffs and shakes her head.  
“How? I just go up to him and say, ‘Hey Harley! I’m demi, so you gotta wait it out, bro.’ Yeah, I bet he’ll like that.” MJ rushes out, her voice slowly starting to sound a little panicked. Peter leans forward and puts his hand on top of her shoulder, squeezing lightly. He frowns when he feels her shaking lightly. A soft sob rises from her chest.  
“I don’t want to lose our friendship,” she chokes out. Peter can feel his own eyes sting at that and he swallows. He doesn’t know what to say. He can’t take her worries away and it hurts so much. 

“You’ll figure it out, Em,” Ned tries to comfort her. “No matter what happens, you’ve got this. Harley’s taking it slow as well, isn’t he? Maybe, everything will just… Y’know, work out? And if it gets hard, he doesn’t seem like the type of person to just drop you and run.”  
“I… I guess that’s true,” MJ sniffles and wipes her tears away. “He wouldn’t do that.”  
“See? You’ll ace this, no matter what,” Ned continues, attempting to cheer her up. MJ lets out a surprised chuckle and shakes her head, eyes still watery, but twinkling playfully again.  
“That actually works as a pun,” she laughs.  
“Wait, what’d I say?”  
“Ace it,” she chuckles. Ned snorts and nods to himself, seemingly pleased with his unintentional joke.

“Anyway,” MJ continues and looks at the navigation system, “-wait, only one more hour to go?”  
“Yeah, we’re getting close!” Ned rolls his shoulders a couple of times and cracks his neck. “About time. This van is killing me.”  
“Wanna switch? I can drive the last bit if you want,” Peter offers, and Ned happily accepts.

-

“Oh look!” MJ points at the ice rink in the distance. They’ve been walking around Helsinki for around half an hour now. The wind is cold but other than that the weather is absolutely beautiful. The sun’s shining, warming their icy skin.  
“No,  _ no, _ ” Peter protests but MJ simply smirks.  
“We’re going skating, Peter! And there’s nothing you can do about it!”

Merely five minutes later, Peter finds himself on the ice with a pair of uncomfortable rental skates. Carefully, he tries to slide forward a little, but his skate catches at a small cut in the ice and he nearly trips.  
“Oh God,” he mumbles. “I wasn’t made for this.” He looks up to see where MJ and Ned are at. They’re already happily skating their laps around the rink. Peter clamps his jaws together and decides with a flash of determination that he  _ will _ learn how to skate today. With his chin up high, he awkwardly makes his way over to the skate aids and sighs happily when his fingers wrap around the metal bar. 

“Peter, why don’t you wave at our Instagram followers?!” MJ laughs. He looks up warily and finds the girl recording him. Peter groans playfully and waves at the camera.  
“Hi guys! Are we live?”  
“Yeah, we are!”  
“Cool!” Peter answers and takes a deep breath, using the aid to skate forward. “Please, don’t mind me, I really suck at his.” MJ squints her eyes to read the comments.  
“They’re cheering you on, Pete, you can do this! I-... Oh! Hey, someone says they’re around and asks if they can come to meet us?”  
“Of course!” Peter exclaims and Ned agrees instantly.   
“Bonus points if you teach Peter how to skate!”

That’s how they meet fourteen-year-old Petteri, who’s been a fan of them ever since he looked them up. He’s attending the show with his parents tomorrow night. Petteri actually does teach Peter how to skate without the skating aid.  
After a bit of hanging out with the boy, they finally excuse themselves because they’re not used to skating and their legs are protesting against the workout. Petteri takes a group selfie with them and thanks them for spending their time with him. With Petteri’s permission, they post the group selfie on their social media channels as well.  
Peter smiles thinking about how cool it must be for him to show it to his friends. Peter truly likes that they can do this, being a small band. It happens rarely, but when it does, Peter knows it truly means something.

-

“What do you mean, the hotel rooms got mixed up…-?” Ned frowns. Happy called them about a minute ago. MJ and Peter look at each other worriedly.  _ No hotel room?  
_ “Right, right. Uh, okay. Can you send the address to us?” Ned hums a couple of times before finally finishing the call and putting his phone back into his pocket. He grabs his mug of hot chocolate tightly. They’ve been seated at the Espresso House for a good two hours now. It’s nine P.M. already, and it’s time to crash soon. “The hotel we were supposed to stay at made a mistake with the bookings. There’s no space for us.”  
“What?”  
“Happy arranged something with another hotel. We gotta go there now so we can split the rooms. I should be getting the address… Oh, Nice! I already have it here, lemme see, it’s- uh- just a five-minute walk from here! Let’s go?”

Fifteen minutes later Peter swipes his key card past the door and opens it. It’s a small room, but he’s got it all to himself. The hotel was more than happy to host The Avengers and gave everyone a private room for a discounted price. Peter smiles when he sees the king bed.  _ Oh, tonight’s gonna be a wonderful sleep _ . No snoring, no trashing in the sheets, no random hands slapping at his face.   
He drops his bags on the floor and decides to take a shower first to finally get some of the grease off his body. He rummages through his bags until he finds the bottle of shower gel. He undresses and drops his clothes on the bed, closes the bathroom door behind him and steps into the shower. When the hot streams rain down on his skin he shudders. God.  _ This is so good _ . 

Just as he’s rinsing off the soap from his body, there’s a loud knock on his door. Peter curses under his breath and quickly turns off the stream of water. He grabs the nearest towel and wraps it around his waist. What if something happened to either MJ or Ned, what if…  
Peter rushes over to the door and opens it…

...Only to be met with Tony Stark eyeing at him.   
“Uh, well, that’s quite the sight,” Tony says, not even trying to bring it subtly. Peter rolls his eyes and holds the towel a little tighter.  _ Don’t drop.  
_ “Is this important? I was kind of in the middle of something as you can see.”  
Tony laughs and wiggles his eyebrows.  
“Sorry for interrupting your lil’ fantasies, but-”  
“What? No! I wasn’t-”  
“Anyways, eh, my room’s heating system is broken and it’s  _ freezing _ in there. Happy said you got a double room so I was wondering if I could crash in here? I don’t wanna be an icicle.”

Peter needs a second to process the question. He searches for Tony’s face, expecting something, anything, that might signal that he’s joking or lying. Yet, there’s nothing on the man’s face that shows ill intentions.   
“Why are you asking me? You barely even know me,” Peter tries. Surely, there are people out here he’d rather spend his time with. Right? Tony’s expression changes when he forces out a smile.  
“Maybe I wanna get to know you better,” Tony teases to evade the question, but the effect of the phrase loses its effect at the emptiness in his eyes. “Please, Peter? I really don’t want to sleep in the cold. Not during the Finnish winter season. Brrr.”

“Alright,” Peter gives in, letting the semi-answer slide, and opens the door a little wider. “Come on in.” Tony’s face instantly lights up and he walks inside, only to stop dead in his tracks.  
“You only got one bed,” he states.  
“Yup,” Peter grins. “Thought you wanted to get to know me better?”  
“Ugh,” Tony responds and huffs. “Well, I guess it’s better than nothing…” His voice trails off and he looks at Peter. Peter stares back and for a short-lived second they’re completely caught up in each other’s eyes.   
“Thanks, space boy,” Tony breathes out. Somehow, his voice is so soft. So… Real? Almost as if he normally tends to hide this voice.   
“You’re welcome. I’m, eh, gonna finish my shower, though,” Peter manages to say awkwardly.

Tony blinks a few times, as if he’d forgotten that Peter was wearing absolutely  _ nothing _ but a towel.  
“Yeah, yeah. Of course. Can I maybe have your key card? I’m gonna go get my bags.”  
“Ah, sure. It’s on the chair!”

Peter quickly walks back into the shower stall and sucks his bottom lip into his mouth. He stares at himself in the mirror. With his reflection staring back at him, it finally settles that he’s sleeping in the same bed as Tony fucking Stark tonight.  _ Holy shit? May would be so jealous. _

-

It doesn’t take Peter long to finish the shower and he emerges from the bathroom, hiding his body in another towel. A bigger one, this time. Peter finds Tony fast asleep on the bed. The man didn’t even manage to get underneath the blankets. He’s still fully clothed, and the man’s phone is quietly playing a YouTube video. Peter’s lips curl into a gentle smile at the sight. 

Carefully, he steps over Tony’s bags scattered on the floor, and changes into his underwear and the loose shirt he loves to sleep in.  _ Alright, it needs a wash soon. _ Peter sits at the empty side of the bed and looks at Tony again. He doesn’t  _ have _ to wake the man up. Both sides of the bed provide their own blanket. It still feels wrong though, to let the man sleep like this all night long.   
So, that’s why he scoots over to the middle and carefully takes the man’s phone to put it away. When he does so, his eyes are drawn to the screen where he finds a pixelated Tony talking right back at him. It’s the Denmark interview, he realizes.

Curiously, Peter shifts a little and takes a closer look at the screen. All three members of the legendary band are being interviewed. They’re squeezed onto a small couch. Tony is talking amicably about something Peter can’t quite follow yet. At first sight, everything seems completely fine.  
Peter doesn’t miss the way Tony keeps rubbing his left elbow, though. How his foot taps restlessly onto the floor. He seems… Anxious? Why is Tony watching this back?   
Peter decides he shouldn’t be watching this and he taps the screen to go back to the home screen of Tony’s phone. Right when he wants to turn the screen off, the image in the background catches his eyes.  _ Huh? _

Peter squints and stares at the picture. It’s Tony eating a massive bowl of ice cream together with a young girl. She must be around… Four? Five years old? Peter sucks at estimating kids’ ages. The girl has a big chunk of ice-y chocolate on her nose and laughs. Picture-Tony looks at her proudly, his own spoon still sticking out of his mouth.

Peter feels a strange warmth spreading in his chest when he looks at the picture. Whoever the kid is, Tony looks completely at ease around her. So… Carefree?   
He sighs to himself and turns the screen off. He’s invading the man’s privacy here, big time. Peter quickly puts the phone away on Tony’s nightstand and then stares at the man, who is still snoring lightly. Even asleep he doesn’t look as carefree as in that picture. Peter almost feels bad about waking him up again. But he can’t let Tony sleep like this.  
“Hey, Stark,” he whispers. “...Tony?”  
Tony groans and his eyes flutter open. He looks up groggily.  
“What is it?”  
“You fell asleep, maybe you might wanna get changed and under the sheets?” Peter tries carefully. Tony sighs and looks at himself.  
“Right,” he answers, still completely sleep drunk. “Good save.”

Peter smiles and turns around, hugging the sheets close to his body. He checks his own phone for any important notifications. He sees a message from May asking how he’s doing. Peter smiles. He’ll answer her tomorrow. First, he really, really wants to rest.   
He puts his phone away and snuggles the blankets a little closer while he listens to Tony rummaging around the room. When Tony makes his way over to the bed again, the man’s gaze lingers on his phone for a second.

“Did you put it there?” He asks, strangely tense. Peter immediately feels his chest tighten.  _ Uh-oh. _ He doesn’t know Tony well, but he knows that he somehow triggered the man’s asshole-response again. He braces himself for the worst when he answers slowly.  
“Yeah, you fell asleep with it still turned on.”  
“Right…” Tony pushes out, sniffing. “What was on there?”  
“I don’t see why-”  
“Peter, what did you see?  _ Tell me _ .”

Peter clenches his jaws and stares up at the man.  
“You were watching the interview from Copenhagen,” he eventually says. “When I clicked it away, I saw your background pic. That’s it. I didn’t snoop around in your messages or anyth-”  
“Don’t-” Tony breathes heavily, clenching and unclenching his fingers. “Don’t tell  _ anyone _ about that picture. I-  _ Promise me. _ ”  
“Eehhh,” Peter manages to choke out, unsure of what’s happening right now.   
“Peter, fucking promise me!”  
“Alright!!” Peter finally screams. He sits upright, staring up at Tony. His nostrils flare when he tries to keep the sudden frustration at bay. He’s so fed up with Tony’s behavior. He knows, logically, that there must be something that causes all of it, but it doesn’t change his feelings. “Alright, I  _ fucking _ promise, Tony! What’s gotten into you for fuck’s sake?!”

Tony doesn’t move for a second, his eyes shooting fire at the boy. Peter doesn’t move either. Then, he blinks. Tony lets out a frustrated groan and turns around, kicking one of his bags a few feet across the room.  
“ _ Dammit! _ ”

Peter takes a deep breath and presses his lips together. He doesn’t know why, but somehow, his instincts tell him that this might be the crack he’s been looking for to get through to the man. Maybe…   
“Tony, what’s wrong?” He asks as softly as possible. 

The most unthinkable thing happens next. Tony turns around again, his eyes red and stained with tears. “ _ Everything, _ ” he whispers, “- _ everything’s wrong. _ ”


	9. Fading Facade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOOO, no dail update yesterday, I'm sorry y'all! But here's the next chapter! <3
> 
> As always, THANK U LIEN, without your beta skills this wouldn't be half as good omg  
> -Kim
> 
> PS: A quick trigger warning: There will be a panic/anxiety attack and anxiety-related problems will be discussed, including meds and drug allergies.

“ _ Everything _ ,” Tony hears himself whisper. “ _ Everything’s wrong. _ ”

The second the words fall from his lips Tony knows he should’ve kept quiet. He’s never lost control like this before. Not with anyone around, that is. His chest tightens. He can’t breathe. He can’t speak.  
Tony lets himself sink onto the edge of the double bed and presses his palms into his thighs. He’s very aware of the signals his body gives off but there’s  _ nothing _ he can do to stop it. Not with this damned mantra flickering in the back of his mind.

_ You fucked up. You fucked up. You fucked up. _

“Tony?” Peter’s voice pierces through the cloudy thoughts. Tony looks up warily and finds a pair of worried, deep-brown eyes searching his face. “Hey…”  
“I’m alright,” Tony chokes out. “Let’s just sleep.”  
“I… Don’t you wanna talk about it?”  
“No.” He can keep his facade up for a little while longer. He has to. ‘Cause if he doesn’t, who knows what might become of him?

Tony, honest to God, doesn’t know what to do. All these years and  _ no one _ had ever found out about Morgan before. No one has seen the many videos on his phone filled with the girl’s sweet giggles and her never-ending stream of questions. No one’s seen her eyes sparkle with curiosity whenever she explores something new. He still remembers what it feels like to hold her small body in his arms. Always squirmy, the little queen.   
But now, Peter  _ has _ seen a picture of her. Tony ponders not telling a thing. But what if that leads to Peter asking other people about it?  _ That’d _ be the true disaster. Then,  _ everyone _ would know.

“The kid in the picture,” he whispers quietly. Peter’s head perks up. “That’s Morgan. Eh, my daughter.”  
“ _ You have a daughter?! _ ” Peter exclaims in surprise, his eyes wide and shocked. The boy quickly realizes what he’s doing and he lowers the volume of his voice. “How…?” Even now, Tony’s snarky comebacks get the better of him.  _ Especially now _ .  
“I’m pretty sure you know how children are conceived, space boy,” Tony says, voice still painfully fragile. Peter huffs quietly.

“I mean… Does anyone know? Like-” The boy stutters, clearly trying to find the right words to not upset him. “-I’ve never heard of this before.”  
“Yeah. That’s the way it should be.”  
“Why?”  
“I don’t want her to grow up, not knowing who she can or cannot trust, simply ‘cause of her father’s fame.” Peter seems to contemplate that for a second, and somehow, the boy radiates such… serenity. Enough for Tony’s legs to stop moving. For now.   
“Yeah, I guess that’s a good point.” Peter pauses. “But… How does that tie to everything being wrong?”

Instantly, Tony’s heartbeat picks up again and his fingers clench involuntarily.   
“You ask too much,” he breathes.  
“No offense, but you keep shit to yourself too much.”  
“Mh-” is all that Tony answers to that. The boy is eerily perceptive. Tony sighs. He has to admit that it doesn’t feel  _ too _ bad talking to Peter. 

“It… Doesn’t tie together at all. Not really,” Tony finally mumbles.  _ God _ , he can’t believe he’s saying it out loud. “Somehow, I’ve developed a drug allergy for my anxiety meds. We’ve tried different types, but nothing works…” He scoffs. “Lucky me.”  
“Oh, uhm, so you’ve got anxiety then?”  
“Yeah,” Tony sighs. “My mind just… Doesn’t  _ stop _ . Never. Not without the meds.”  
“Is that why you’re… y’know, eh- So tense all the time?”  
“Nice choice of words,” Tony laughs. “You can call me an asshole. I don’t mind. I know how shitty I am - don’t worry.” He hates how self-loathing it sounds. But then, he  _ does _ loathe himself, so where’s the lie? “The anxiety’s the reason Pepper keeps Morgan away from me.”

“Wait what?” Peter’s eyes widen. “What happened?”  
“Nothing happened. I swear- I might be a wreck, but whenever Morgan is around it’s different, y’know? My focus is on her. Fully.” Tony breathes out. Dammit, he can’t believe he’s telling Peter all of this. Peter doesn’t push for more, instead, he waits for Tony to keep talking. Tony sniffs. “I still have my emergency meds though. They’re much stronger, not meant for daily use. They make me sleepy and foggy and unattentive. I’ve never taken one with Morgan there, but Pepper… She thinks it’s a hazard. In her eyes, it makes me a bad father.”

Tony presses his lips together and feels another wave of tears flood his eyes.   
“Pepper and I never dated. Morgan was, eh, an accident from a one night stand. “I’ve supported Pepper from day one. I paid for everything she and Morgan could possibly need. I even canceled shows to babysit her whenever she wanted a night off…”  
“How long has this been going on for?” Peter asks quietly. Tony shrugs. At this point he, funnily enough, told Peter so much he doesn’t even care about oversharing anymore. His secrets are out anyway.  
“My drug allergy started about a year ago. I haven’t seen her in eight months…” Tony laughs bitterly. “You remember my ‘shitty day’ on New Year’s Eve? Pepper was supposed to come to watch the show with Morgan. Of course, not backstage for their privacy- but in the crowd, y’know? I’d meet them a few blocks away before the show…” Tony swallows. “Pepper never showed up and blocked my number and social media.”

“Jesus fuck,” Peter mutters. “That’s… I can’t believe she’d do that. Tony, for real, can’t you just sue her?”  
“I could,” Tony says quietly. If he’d get a dollar for each time that that thought crossed his mind, he’d be a billionaire by now. “But it’s only a matter of time before some crap journalist finds out. I’d throw Morgan in the spotlights and that’s the one thing I don’t want.”  
“Right, I… I didn’t think about that.” Peter shakes his head. “Fuck.”  
“Yeah, it’s a real Catch-22.”  
“What’s that?”  
“Doesn’t matter. I’m fucked. That’s what it means.” Tony stands up from the bed, suddenly restless. He paces back and forth. The room is so infinitely small and he groans. His chest aches when the reality of his own words hit home full force. 

“ _ I’m fucked, so fucked. Goddammit! _ ”

Tony had been somewhat calm throughout the talk. Now, his fingers are tingling and it’s only then that he notices his shallow breathing.   
“Fuck,” he rushes out and reaches for his small travel bag. “Talking about Xanax, I’m gonna need one now- I need…” He should’ve known that talking about this was inevitably going to set him off. He wishes he didn’t need it. He wishes Peter wouldn’t see him like this. But he knows that if he doesn’t take one he’s not going to calm down anytime soon.  
“Need water?” Peter asks, clearly trying to help. Tony just nods, unable to say anything else. His fingers finally find the bottle with his pills and he chews on his bottom lip as he tries to open the lid. His hands are shaky, though, and his panic grows when he can’t seem to take it off.

“Here,” Peter gently mumbles. “Lemme help.” The boy crouches down and takes the bottle from Tony’s hands. He opens it and hands Tony one of the pills together with a glass of water. Tony gratefully takes it- too tired to fight it. He sticks the pill into his mouth and quickly chugs it down with the water. He knows he’s still gonna have to wait for the actual effects to kick in, but knowing how he’ll feel once it does, helps him to not lose himself to the whims of his body.

“I’m… Just gonna lie down,” he mutters. “Can you maybe, uhm,  _ God _ , I’m sorry. Can you maybe distract me a bit until I calm down?”  
“Of course. Wanna hear about the early days of The Arachnoids?” Peter suggests while Tony crawls under the covers. He tugs his legs into his chest and closes his eyes. No more thinking.  
Peter doesn’t second-guess Tony’s request and that tugs at Tony’s heart. Peter’s been nothing but nice, even helping him after being such an asshole to him for days on end. Tony knows he doesn’t deserve this, knows he-  
“Alright, so, we had to do this weird as fuck school project once. MJ was the first one who came up with…”

-

Thirty minutes later, Tony finally starts to feel the familiar, drowsy feeling he’s been longing for so much. Peter’s still talking. Tony isn’t actively listening to the words anymore. Instead, he lets Peter’s voice rain down on him. He never realized quite how pleasant the boy’s voice is. Soft and warm, with hints of excitement seeping through whenever he tells a part he’s passionate about. It’s nearly meditative.  
“...and then we got the invite to play for The Avengers, and that’s where we are now!” Peter ends his story, voice cheerful and light.

“Thank you,” Tony whispers and he hates how much his voice still wavers. “I needed that.” A small breath leaves Peter’s lips before he speaks.   
“Of course, Tony. I’m here whenever you need me, ‘kay?”  
“Y-yeah. Okay.” Tony tugs at the sheets to hide his body underneath it a little more. The soft, thick fabric feels so incredibly soothing against his skin that it nearly makes him tear up again. He stares when Peter’s head turns to look at him, the glimmering of the boy’s eyes reflecting the tiny bit of light that still enters the room through the curtains.  
“If you need a hug,” Peter whispers so gently it’s almost unfair. “-I’m right here. All you have to do is ask.”

“I don’t need a hug,” Tony mutters before he even realizes it. “That’d… Be weird, wouldn’t it?” Tony already feels weak enough. Admitting he needs a pair of strong arms around him is something he could never do.  
“Alright, what if we flip it around, huh?” Peter smiles. “If I’d say I want to  _ give you  _ a hug right now, would you accept it?”  
“I…” Tony frowns and blinks a few times when he realizes that, while it’s the same thing, somehow this doesn’t trigger any form of resistance inside of his body. He’s painfully aware of the point Peter’s making here. “Yes.”

Peter hums and shifts a little closer. Tony swallows when he feels how the boy’s arms wrap around his rigid body. The first thing Tony notices is how soft and warm Peter’s skin is. The second thing is how Peter cuddles up to him completely.  _ Yes, that feels so good. _

The third thing… He can’t even think about that anymore. His mind drifts off into the dark depths of his mind. The darkness doesn’t swallow him, though. No. It’s warm. And cozy. 

_ Safe. _


	10. Wary Words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya!!! Already said it to some folks in the comments but figured I'd give a quick update here too! I don't think that I'll be able to manage daily chapters every time (although it might happen occasionally ^^) so, just a heads up! BUT I sure am writing lots for this so no worries!

_ Tony’s gone. _

That’s the first thought that crosses Peter’s mind when he stirs back to life after a short but good sleep. The room is empty and quiet, and it’s not just the man that has vanished. His bags are gone too and the sheets Tony slept under are neatly drawn up over the mattress. If it weren’t for the cologne lingering on Peter’s shirt, he could’ve sworn it’d all been a dream.  _ It’s real, _ he reminds himself.  _ It’s all real. _

Peter doesn’t like the uneasy feeling that settles under his skin. He clamps his jaws together and blows into his cheeks, then letting the pressured air escape past his lips in a defeated sigh. He doesn’t know what to do. While it’s clear that something has to change for Tony, Peter wouldn’t know where to even start. He does realize it’s not his problem to solve, but he wants to help Tony however possible. It’s idle hope, though, to think the solution might come easy.

_ Tony’s gone,  _ and there’s no sign of him until the live performance. It physically aches Peter’s chest to watch how freely Tony moves around the stage. No anxiety. No spiraling thoughts. Just Tony living through his music. The stage is Tony’s home. Performing is his home.

But after thanking his Finnish fans for supporting them today… There’s no trace left of where he could’ve gone. Tony’s hiding once again.

_ Latvia. _

_ Poland. _

_ Hungary _

The next few days are all the same. No sight of Tony other than soundchecks and shows. No one knows where he is. And Peter realizes, horrified, that as much as everyone’s worried about Tony’s behavior,  _ they don’t really care. _ Not truly. As long as Tony shows up to sing they seem awfully okay with it. 

_ Austria _

_ Italy _

_ Spain _

Peter still hasn’t managed to catch a moment alone with Tony. From a distance, he can see that the man looks paler. Tired.  _ Lonely. _

_ France _

_ Belgium _

_ Germany _

Peter’s fed up with Tony evading everyone and he decides that he’ll do everything it takes to connect to him again. He  _ will _ talk to Tony. As soon as he gets the chance.

_ Netherlands _

-

“Hey, Stark!” Peter greets the man cheerfully as he finally finds the man by himself in the large Nijmegen venue. Tony’s leaning against the front barrier, looking up at the stage. “I’ve been thinking about your offer and I’ve decided to take you up on those guitar classes.” Tony tenses up and he grips the front barrier so tight his knuckles turn white.  _ Oh no. _   
Slowly, Tony turns around to face Peter. Tony looks straight at him but Peter can tell it takes  _ everything _ the man has, to not avert his gaze. Peter’s heart clenches at the knowledge that the man’s been hurting so much lately, that it's a habit for him to hide everything.

“Hi, space boy.” Tony sniffs once and straightens his shoulders, faking a wide grin. Peter frowns at that. Does Tony still have the feeling he has to pretend so much?   
Tony continues talking before Peter has a chance to resume the conversation himself.  
“Wouldn’t you rather do another one of those sleepovers? ‘Twas quite a messy night, huh?” 

_ What? _

“That makes it sound like we had an actual one night stand,” Peter says slowly, eyebrows raised. If Tony wants to approach it like this, Peter will try to play along. Tony huffs a startled laugh at that.  
“That’s what happens when there’s only one bed,” he jokes. Tony’s smile falters soon after. He casts his eyes down to the floor. “I’m really sorry about that night, though… That… Wasn’t supposed to happen.”

“What wasn’t?” Peter asks, tilting his head. He kinda expects Tony to cut the conversation short and make a run for it, but surprisingly, he doesn’t.  
“The panic attack- I never wanted to drop that on you. The hug…” Tony’s cheeks turn a little bit redder at that.  _ He’s ashamed _ , Peter realizes.  
“Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?”

Tony tenses at that once more. He blinks a few times, unsure of what to do. Peter swallows. The last thing he wants is to chase Tony away himself.  
“Hey…” Peter speaks softly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”  
“No,” Tony pushes out. “You  _ did _ . And you’re right, I guess. I have been avoiding you.” Tony glances around real quick to see if there’s no one else around. When he confirms they’re alone he sighs. “I’ve never been this vulnerable around anyone. I… don’t know how to deal with it.” Tony sits down on the floor to lean against the front barrier and he shakes his head. Peter carefully walks closer to him.

“That’s alright. It’s hard,” Peter breathes as he sinks down onto the cool metal plates as well. “I know my story isn’t nearly the same…” He continues. “But I was young when I lost everyone but Aunt May. I closed off. It fucking  _ sucks _ when people watch your every move ‘cause they’re not sure what to do with you and your emotions.”  
Tony looks up at that. His eyes contain the exact spark of recognition Peter had hoped to ignite.

“Sometimes, it’d be much easier if none of it ever happened - or if no one knows. So that you can  _ pretend _ it never did, even if just for a few minutes.” Peter pauses, trying to figure out the right words to continue. “But- If you never allow yourself to be vulnerable, no one’s gonna understand why you keep pushing them away. Eventually, they’ll take it as rejection. They give up. And it leaves you lonelier than you were before.”  
“Sounds familiar,” Tony mumbles quietly. Peter’s lips curl into a faint smile.   
“Yeah... And I’m not saying you always have to talk about the shit that’s going on, but you  _ can _ let people know you’re not okay. Confide in them. You  _ need _ that sense of community, Tony.  _ Especially _ when things are bad.”

They’re both silent after that. It’s not an uncomfortable silence. Not at all. At one point, Tony’s composure softens. He goes less rigid, and his left knee falls against Peter’s right one. Peter lets it happen without a single thought; perhaps he  _ too  _ likes the warmth coming from the other’s body. Someone who, even though the story is different, shares the emotions Peter knows so well.

“Thank you,” Tony finally breathes. “That’s… You’re right- I-...” Tony groans when the words don’t come easy. Most likely unconsciously, he presses his knee into Peter’s a little more. Peter doesn’t say anything to give the man his time. He does press his knee back, though. Hoping to comfort Tony. Tony swallows and slowly continues. “Talking to you makes me feel like I can breathe, even if just slightly.” The words cause a gentle warmth to spread through Peter’s chest.

“I meant what I said the other night, Tony. I’m gonna be here, alright?”  
“You barely know me...”  
“Isn’t that enough of a reason to get to know each other better? I mean, we already slept in one bed after all,” Peter says, trying to lighten the conversation with a small joke. It seems to work. Tony snorts.  
“I think you’re my favorite one night stand,” Tony grins. Somehow, even though it’s obviously meant as a joke, it catches Peter completely off guard and he blushes. Tony notices and he grins.   
“Ooooooh! You liked it too!” Tony teases. Peter growls in response and leans sideways to bump into Tony’s shoulder. The man laughs,  _ actually laughs _ , and the sound reverberates in Peter’s chest. Is this the lighter side of Tony he hasn’t seen yet?

“Hey,” Tony mumbles once his snickering died down. “I have to go do this stupid interview. Harley will  _ lynch _ me if I don’t show up.”  
“Shouldn’t Bruce and Happy be the ones to do that?”  
“They don’t really bother with me. They’ve given Harley the most prestigious task of babysitting me.”  
“Harley seems nice though, isn’t he?” Peter tries. Tony hums.  
“For sure. He’s a good kid.” 

Tony’s silent after that and Peter bites down his bottom lip. He feels like the conversation isn’t over yet. He drops his head to one side to look at Tony. Tony raises his eyebrows.  
“Will you be okay?” Peter asks quietly.  
“I…” Tony sighs. “I guess? Interviews trigger my anxiety quite badly. Nat, Steve, and Harley know about the medication shit, though. They try to help me through. They just don’t know about… Morgan.” Tony’s voice wavers when he chokes out her name. “I’ll manage. I promise.” Peter smiles and leans into Tony a little bit more, trying to bring him some comfort.

“Alright. Promise me one thing though,” Peter whispers. “Or, two actually?”  
“What’s that?”  
“I want those guitar classes,” Peter states and Tony snorts, shrugging and shaking his head.  
“Sure, what else?”

Peter hesitates and he clasps his own hands together, leaning forward onto his upper legs. From there, he eyes Tony carefully.  
“Don’t rewatch it.” Peter takes a breath. “The interview. Answer their questions and then forget about it.”

Tony takes a few moments to think about that before he swallows and nods. His eyes sparkle when he raises his head to look Peter straight into his eyes.  
“I promise.”

-

Peter mindlessly helps Ned set up his drums for tonight. Ned loves the new set, even though it’s not nearly the same quality as the one he has at home. It’s got a nice sound, Peter has to admit that. He doesn’t know enough about drums to give a solid opinion, but if Ned’s happy, so is he.

“So, what’s up with Tony?” Ned asks, fiddling with one of his drumsticks when Peter finishes tightening the last hi-hat clutch. Peter leans back, eyeing Ned curiously.  
“What do you mean?”  
“He seems… So… Nice? Today? I dunno,” he mumbles. “He’s not himself.”  
“Oh?”  
“Yeah, he-”

Before Ned can finish his explanation, the door slams open and Peter looks up startled. MJ comes rushing in and she throws herself into Ned’s arms. “Help!” She squeaks.   
“Hey, hey! What’s wrong?”  
“I- Harley, he- He asked me out,” she chokes out. “And my dumb ass said  _ no _ . But when I ran off I- I realized I wanted to say  _ yes _ and I don’t know what to do.” MJ groans and presses her lips together.

“Please, you gotta help me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is very MJ/Harley-centered WHO IS READY- I SURE AM


	11. Blossoming Bond

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is about Harley/MJ (Peter and Tony do appear shortly). It's a bit longer than I intended it to be but I got carried away. Y'all have no clue how soft they make me feel.

Harley chuckles and he turns his head to eye the girl laying next to him. It’s basically habit for the two of them now to chill in Harley’s bunk bed whenever they have nowhere to be. They chat, take naps together, or watch a bunch of stupid, funny videos. They’ve been hanging out non-stop since the day they met; be it online or in person. It still surprises him how well they hit off together. 

MJ frowns as she taps her screen a couple of times, muttering under her breath when whatever she’s trying to do, doesn’t seem to work. Harley swallows, staring at her. _She’s so gorgeous._   
He hates how quickly he’s fallen for her… But how could he not? MJ’s gentle, quirky and brave. He admires her so much.  
“Harley, where’d you find that video with the- oh wait, I’ve got it!” Harley presses his lips together when she nuzzles a little closer into his side. _Fuck._ _Play it cool_. He wraps his arm around her shoulders to pull her in even more. MJ easily lets it happen and she lets her head rest on his chest; intently watching the video.

It doesn’t matter how hard he tries (and he really does try). He can’t focus the slightest bit. Not with MJ’s warmth pressing into him like this. Not when her light fragrance fills his nostrils each time she moves.

_ Had he ever liked someone this much? _

Everything about MJ just makes sense to him. Their connection; they  _ click _ . She feels safe and warm and he doesn’t feel like he has to hide who he truly is. Aside from his crush for her, obviously.  
Liz told him he should ask her out, and while Harley had laughed it off first, his mind hadn’t stopped to plan the perfect date. 

A perfect date... but only if he asks today. 

Unconsciously, his gaze falls away from the screen and Harley only realizes that he’s staring at MJ when she turns her head and blinks a few times.  
“Hey, are you OK?” Harley’s throat tightens and he takes a deep, shaky breath. MJ frowns and pushes herself up so she can turn around fully and study his face. “What’s wrong?”

_ I want you back in my arms, _ he thinks.  _ That’s what’s wrong. _

“MJ, I…” he whispers. Harley wants to say it; wants to ask her. Except, somehow, he has a feeling that MJ already knows what his next words are going to be. She leans back slightly, her eyes widening. Harley takes another deep breath.  
“I know it’s fast but, I really  _ really _ like you. Fuck, this is hard,” Harley rushes out and knows he can’t take it back. He has to push through now. “Do you want to go on a date with me?”

MJ nearly lunges herself out of his bunk and stares at him in such horror Harley feels his heart shatter into a thousand pieces.  _ No no no! _ He sits upright quickly.  
“MJ, I-”  
“No,” she blurts out and Harley freezes. “No, Harley- I…” Without another word, she grabs her coat and makes her way out of the tour bus as fast as she can. Harley closes his eyes and just sits there. His fingers curl into tight fists, knuckles whitening.

_ He ruined it. _

_ He should’ve never asked. _

-

Harley bites down his bottom lip when he stares at the cables in his hands. Dammit. He got side-tracked again. He sighs and crouches down, trying to figure out where the labels are so he can connect the cables to the right pieces of equipment and not fuck up the entire show tonight.   
“What’s wrong, Harls? Haven’t seen you this way since Tony threatened to fire you,” Liz jokes. Harley forces a smile onto his face but he’s painfully aware that it probably makes him look even more pathetic. Liz’s lips part.  
“ _ Oh, _ ” she breathes and slowly crouches down next to him. “You asked her, didn’t you?” Harley swallows and nods. He’s afraid he’s going to burst into tears if he even attempts to speak.  
“Shit…” Liz mumbles. “I’m so sorry. I really thought… Did she say anything?”

“No,” Harley pushes out. He still doesn’t really understand it. MJ…  _ God, MJ _ . He really thought she liked him back. Harley feels sick to the bone remembering the fear in her eyes. He scared her away. Had he been too pushy? Too direct? He has no clue. “She ran,” he finally answers.   
As much as he doesn’t want to talk, he does want to keep Liz in the loop. They’ve been roadies for The Avengers for a few years now and at this point, they know each other too well.

“Harley!!”  
His thoughts are cut off when someone rushes towards him. It’s Peter, he realizes.  _ Oh God, did he fuck up that bad?  
_ “Peter, I swear, I didn’t mean to hurt her or make her feel like-” Harley starts defensively, but Peter quickly shakes his head.  
“No no no! Harley, it’s… Do you have a few minutes?” Peter asks mysteriously and he eyes Liz. Harley follows Peter’s gaze. Liz uses her head to gesture in Peter’s direction.  
“What are you waiting for? Go! I got this.”

Harley suddenly feels his heart leaping in his chest, pounding hard and fast when he lowers the cables back to the floor.   
“Where are we going?” He tries as he follows after Peter. Peter simply smirks at him and it makes Harley’s mind glow with hope. Peter wouldn’t smirk if something bad were to happen, would he? 

He soon realizes Peter is taking him towards the dressing rooms and he swallows.  _ Oh, fuck _ . Peter smiles and opens the door.  
“It’s gonna be alright,” Peter whispers. “Believe me.” Somehow it’s enough for Harley to press his lips together and slowly set foot into the room. He freezes when he spots MJ. It feels so weirdly intimate to be in The Arachnoids’ dressing room. Like he probably shouldn’t be here.   
“H-Hey,” he stutters. MJ sends him a faint smile and Harley’s thoughts are a mess. She’s smiling. Is that a good thing? A bad thing?  _ Fuck _ , why is no one saying anything?

“Hey, Harley…” MJ whispers and pats the free spot on the small bench she’s seated on. Harley swallows down the lump in his throat and he does as she wants. Carefully, he sits down on the bench, his long legs bending awkwardly. Peter leaves the dressing room and closes the door behind them. It’s just  _ them _ now. The air is thick and hard to breathe with all that tension.

“MJ, I never meant to push you away from me, I’m so sorry. I won’t bring it up again. I-”  
“Harley, stop.” MJ breathes and licks her lips nervously. “You didn’t push me away. I did that to myself. I…” she groans. “I panicked.”  
“Em…” Harley whispers and he carefully slides his hand towards her, not touching hers though. Not yet. MJ stares at their hands, then back up at him. Harley feels like he’s falling in love again, as does he every single time when he loses himself in the depths of her gaze.  
“I didn’t want to run. And…” MJ clearly struggles to get her words out and Harley’s heartbeat picks up even more. Is she…?

“If you still want to, I’d love to go on that date,” she finally says under her breath. Harley’s eyes close for a second. A surprised huff falls from his lips. When he opens his eyes again, his lips curl into the widest smile and he actually grabs her hand now.   
“I’d love that too,” he breathes. “Fuck.” He can’t help the surprised chuckle. Can’t help leaning in a little closer. MJ’s fingers are soft and warm as they intertwine with his. They both stare at their hands for a good second until MJ breaks her gaze away from it and looks up at him again. Harley studies her face, unconsciously trying to make sure that this is truly what she wants.

“Tomorrow,” he whispers. He’s got everything planned out. It’s not much. It’s not special. But with the limited resources of being on a world tour, he thinks he did pretty well. Tomorrow is their day off and that’s why he mustered up the courage to ask her today. He doesn’t want their date to be rushed. Wants to give her all the time and attention she deserves. “Eight PM?”

-

It’s 7.55 PM the next day. Harley doesn’t think he’s ever been this nervous for a date. He glances into his selfie camera once more and runs his free hand through his hair, fixing those damned strands that never stay in place. He sighs and turns off his screen, sliding his phone back into his pocket.   
“Ah,” he hears a low, rumbling voice from behind him. “Hooking up tonight?” Harley snorts and turns around to face Tony.   
“Some people go on regular dates, y’know,” he says and cocks his eyebrow. Tony shakes his head at that and kicks his shoes off. With ease, he then climbs into the top bunk right above Harley’s.  
“I don’t know what those are,” Tony sighs and rolls onto his side, propping himself up on one elbow. Harley’s waiting for the other man to turn sour. To his surprise, it never happens. Harley wonders why he’s in such a good mood today but he decides to not question it. It’s been a long time since he’s seen him like this. It’s nice, actually. It’s not the old Tony he knows. Not by far yet. But the small conversation already ignites a spark of hope that maybe one day that old Tony might return.

“Shame,” Harley finally answers. “It’s fun, you should try it once.”  
“Sure,” Tony responds with a frown. For a second, he seems lost in thought, but then he looks at Harley again. “Eh, I want to apologize.” Harley frowns, taken aback.  
“What for, exactly?”  
“For treating you like shit.” Tony stares at the ceiling. “I shouldn’t be taking my frustration out on you. Or anyone, really. Just…” Tony sniffs. Harley’s head snaps up at that. God, the man’s serious. “I really appreciate you, Harls. I’ll try better. And… Thanks for sticking ‘round.”

Harley doesn’t know what to respond to that. Not right away. Tony and he used to be rather good friends despite their age difference. It hadn’t been until a little over six months ago that something about the man had drastically changed.  
“Thank you, Tony,” he eventually says. “You know where to find me if you need me, right?”  
“I do. We’ll talk later, ‘kay?” Tony flails his hands. “Go, you have a date.”  
“You sure? If you need me-”  
“Harls,” Tony’s voice is stern. “Just cause I never really dated someone doesn’t mean I don’t know how important it is. Go.”

-

It’s 8 PM.

“MJ,” Harley breathes when he sees her. He doesn’t try to conceal the wide grin spreading on his face. She looks like a true Goddess once again, and it’s no wonder she’s called Venus on stage. She  _ is _ Venus; in a thick winter coat and a cute winter hat, that is.   
“I’m so glad you’re here.” He raises his hand to show off the keys he borrowed from Peter earlier to use the van. The keys jingle in his hand and MJ laughs in surprise.  
“You got connections, I see?” She jokes and Harley lights up at that, smirking.   
“I'm Harley Keener, what else did you expect?” He teases back. MJ snorts and bumps into his side. It sends a series of shivers under his skin and Harley looks at her. “Ready for take-off?”

MJ’s eyes widen at that. Harley’s pleased with the fact she still remembers her own words from the New Year’s Eve show.  
“Always,” she whispers, repeating what he’d answered back then. She smiles up at him, and suddenly leans in for a quick hug. Harley hums and wraps his arms around her.  
“Thank you,” she whispers before she lets go and hops into her seat. Harley isn’t sure what she’s thanking him for, but he’ll take it.

Not much later, Harley parks the van and grins sideways.  
“We’re almost there, gotta walk the last part.” MJ’s eyes glimmer with curiosity and she gets out of the vehicle. Harley waves at her. “This way!” He’s excited. He’s been here two years ago when he’d toured with The Avengers’ previous European tour. Back then, it’d been in the broad daylight. Now that it’s dark and Harley can already see the warm lights glowing in the distance.  
“Are we going there?” MJ asks, following his gaze. Harley nods.

“Nijmegen,” he starts as they set foot into the small park, “-was one of the oldest cities in the Netherlands. Up here is a small ruin. A chapel, I think?” Harley smiles at her and feels a warmth spreading through his chest when he sees her twinkling eyes. Slowly, they walk up the small path towards the top. It’s not long, nor very steep, but they take it slow anyways. MJ’s body is so close to his. Harley takes a deep breath and carefully brushes his hand past hers. He can hear a light gasp coming from her lips and he looks at her to gauge her reaction. She tilts her head as she watches him. And suddenly, Harley feels her fingers interlace with his. 

Harley swallows.  
“Is this alright?” MJ asks, squeezing gently. Harley nods.  
“Yeah, I like it,” he breathes quietly. His heart hammers inside his ribcage once again. MJ’s hand is quite a bit colder than he thought it’d be.  
“Are you cold?”  
“Nah, I’m good. Why, were you gonna hand me your coat?” Harley grins at that.  
“If you want my clothes, you can ask,” he teases. “But, I can’t promise they’ve been properly washed these past weeks.”

MJ scrunches her nose and Harley feels butterflies flutter in his stomach. She’s the most precious girl he’s ever met.  
“Gross,” she comments. “But I’ll take you up on it. Can I have that adorable hoodie with the cactuses?” Harley laughs at that.  
“You’ve wanted that one from the second you laid eyes on it, huh?”  
“Don’t blame me,” she chuckles, “-hoodies are everything.” She pauses. “Especially when they smell like you.” He instantly blushes.  
“I... ” Harley’s mind is flooded with the image of MJ wearing that hoodie. It’d look good on her, he knows. And the fact that she wants to wear his clothes makes him feel all the more excited and nervous and,  _ God _ , he’s a mess.  
“Sorry if my hand’s a lil’ sweaty,” he mutters under his breath. MJ responds by squeezing more tightly.   
“I don’t mind.”

Harley casts his gaze upwards again to regain his sense of reality and realizes they’ve almost made it to the top. He smiles broadly.  
“You’re gonna love this. Watch…” he whispers as they take their last steps. MJ diverts her gaze as well, searching for the thing Harley could be talking about, and-

“Woah,” she breathes. “That’s… Gorgeous?” Harley lets out a soft breath, agreeing with her. From up here, they look down at one of the Dutch rivers. The bridges that cross it are lit up, and the cars that drive over them cast a lovely contrast with the old chapel on their right.  
“What river is it, do you know?” MJ asks curiously. Harley shakes his head sheepishly.  
“I read the name earlier today, but I keep forgetting. I’m afraid Dutch isn’t my strong suit.”  
“It’s a weird language for sure. I heard some girls talking earlier today, it’s… I don’t even know how to describe it.” She grins. “Thank God, most of them speak English.”

A little while later they’re seated on a small, wooden bench to admire the view. Harley loves having time to actually make conversation with her. It runs more freely, not being restricted by texts, or bad internet connection over facetime, or quick chats backstage where they can sometimes barely hear each other.  
“Harley?” MJ says after a short silence. Harley looks over at her and frowns when he sees her troubled expression. Instantly, his heart drops.  
“What’s wrong?” He whispers, terrified of what the answer could be. His mind races with the things he said. Did he offend her?  
“There’s something you should know.” MJ sighs and takes a deep breath. She folds her hands in her lap and stares into nothingness, no longer seeing the beauty of the landscape laid out in front of her.  
“Oh?” 

“How… How familiar are you with sexuality? Like, eh, with all the LGBTQ+ terms and definitions?” Harley blinks a few times. He expected many things, but not for the conversation to turn to this direction.   
“I,” he stutters, “-I think I know the basics? Why?”  _ Is she bisexual? Does she think he’d dislike that? That he might not want to date her because of it? _   
“Well… I’m, eh,  _ God _ why is this so hard,” she mutters, clearly getting frustrated with herself. “I’m demisexual. It’s… Do you know it?”  
Harley shakes his head.

“It falls under the asexual spectrum. While asexuality means to not have a sexual attraction to someone, demisexual means, well, only feeling attraction to those you have a deep connection with.”  
“I… I’m afraid I don’t understand,” Harley breathes, but he takes MJ’s hand. He’s confused.  _ Demisexual. Asexuality. _ He has to admit he’s heard the terms once or twice before. But he never quite looked into it. “But whatever it means, I’m not gonna like you any less for it. Please let that be clear,” he quickly adds. MJ looks up at him and he’s shocked to find tears in her eyes.

“Hey…” He scoots a little closer, worried, and pulls her in for a tight hug. MJ immediately melts into his body, her arms wrapping around his body as well. Harley closes his eyes, hating how his chest constricts with pain for the emotions she’s going through.

“So,” he tries. “I’m trying to understand. Doesn’t… Everyone like people more when they have a connection? I…” He realizes he sounds dumb, but he hopes it’s not offensive. He wants to be anything but that.   
“It’s different,” MJ mumbles into his coat. “You might spot someone walking down the street and think they’re hot. I don’t. Never have. I… I don’t get the fuss of people liking celebrities and wanting to be with them. I don’t like someone at first sight. Friendship-wise, maybe, but nothing more.”  
Harley nods to himself, trying to process that. He can’t imagine what it must feel like, but… That’s probably why it troubles her so much. Harley digs his fingers into her body as he keeps her within his embrace.

“I think I understand,” he whispers into her curls. “You  _ can _ feel attraction, but it doesn’t happen,” he snaps his fingers, “-just like that?” MJ lets out a surprised chuckle and nods.  
“I guess that’s one way to explain it.” Slowly, she pulls back a little and he loses his grip on her. MJ sits up again and searches his face. Harley smiles at her gently. He hates seeing her like this and he can’t imagine it’s just the sexuality that makes her feel so scared of this part of herself. Almost as if...  
“I… Don’t want to pry, but… Did someone hurt you over this?” 

MJ’s lips press into a thin line and she nods. Harley growls low in his throat, feeling a flash of anger towards whoever hurt her. MJ shifts a little.  
“He pretended to be patient,” she whispers. “Then after a couple of weeks, he tried to get in my pants. Heck, I hadn’t even figured out my feelings for him. I told him to fuck off, and…” Her voice trails off for a second and she shakes her head. “God, I never even told Peter or Ned about this… He... called me a frigid bitch.” Harley’s nostrils flare with the intensity of the rage that courses through him.  
“He said- _ What the fuck? _ ”

MJ shrugs, trying to act indifferent. Harley can see the slight shiver, though.   
“He’s an asshole,” she breathes. “But… I dunno. Ever since _him,_ I’ve been so scared to let someone close.” She looks at him and smiles sadly. “And then came you. From day one I felt so… At ease with you. You really light up every room you enter, Harls. We talked so much, and… I… I think I really like you?” Her voice is small, but Harley didn't miss what she said. His fury subsides to the back of his mind to be dealt with later, and he flushes a bright red.   
“You do?” He whispers quietly. She nods briskly.  
“That’s what scares me so much. I… Don’t want to be too slow and chase you off. I’m… I’m not  _ frigid _ ,” she whispers, looking down at her hands again. “I just need time.”

Harley slowly leans in and reaches for her hands. MJ lets it happen. Harley squeezes lightly, encouragingly.  
“I’m not him,” he whispers. “And I  _ like _ that we’re taking our time. This… Just  _ us _ , is more than enough for me. I’m not in for this for a simple hook-up. I want to get to know you, as you are, and I’m…” He takes a short breath, hoping that what he’s saying conveys the message he so desperately wants her to know. “I’m so grateful you told me about this part of you. I like you, MJ, and if this is a part of who you are, I’ll  _ cherish _ it.”

MJ looks up at him.  
“Really?”  
“Really. Well,” he smiles hopefully. “Only if you want it too, of course.” MJ hums and leans against his side. Harley wraps his arm around her shoulder. Just as they’d laid in his bunk bed earlier.  
“I want it,” she whispers and cranes her neck and presses a small kiss onto his cheek. Harley’s skin breaks out in flames where her lips touch him. He freezes completely. If he’d been standing up, his knees would have buckled. MJ grins at his response and bumps her weight into his side teasingly.  
“You’re cute,” she giggles. Harley grunts and looks down at her. He understands why she must’ve felt restricted by her feelings, but all he can think about is that despite her sexuality, she  _ does _ like him. It’s like a really fucked-up compliment, and he knows he shouldn’t take it as one, but he’s just giddy overall.

“You’re cuter than me.”  
“Oh, you bet your ass I am,” she retorts easily and Harley laughs. 

_ He’s never letting this girl slip through his fingers. Ever. _


	12. Perfect Posture

“You had fun last night?” Tony asks Peter casually. They’re seated in Tony’s dressing room, Peter’s guitar resting on top of his legs. He asked Tony to give him guitar classes yesterday, and while it’d been a reason to start the conversation, Peter actually does want this. Of course, he plays the guitar more than good enough. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be in a band. Tony’s been doing it for more than twenty years, though, so surely there’s something he can teach him.  
“Last night?” Peter echoes, slightly confused. It sounds as if he  _ had _ plans the prior evening, which he didn’t. Ned and he ended up watching a movie on Ned’s iPad. The man’s probably just trying to make small talk. “Yeah! It was nice. Just hanging out, y’know?”

Tony simply hums at that, and something is lingering in his gaze that Peter can’t quite place. It’s funny how unreadable Tony can be. His face is  _ never _ emotionless, yet so incomprehensible. Peter almost wants to add to it, asking if Tony had a nice evening as well, but Tony opens his mouth first.  
“Play the  _ Earth 616 _ riff, will ya?”

Peter grins and grabs his guitar. He doesn’t even have to think about this one. His fingers find their way to the steel strings naturally and he presses into them. They swiftly switch positions and he strums. His pick catches where it’s supposed to and Peter closes his eyes. It’s not a difficult part, really.  
“Now, switch to the bridge,” Tony instructs. Peter listens right away and brings his hand up the fretboard to play.  
“And… The solo.”

Peter switches again, his fingers moving faster this time. He looks up. Tony’s eyes aren’t looking at his fingers. Instead, he’s staring at Peter himself. Tony’s eyes are filled with… Pride? It’s strange how Peter can instantly feel the familiarity of a red flush crawling up his neck until his cheeks burn.   
His fingers tense, just for a second, but it’s enough for him to hit the wrong note. Peter cringes and stops playing, smiling sheepishly.  
“Eh,” he mutters embarrassed, “-I usually nail that part.”  
“I know,” Tony breathes. “You got distracted.” 

The boy presses his lips together. There’s nothing he can say. It’s true. And bad. He’s a professional, and he got distracted by something as simple as Tony’s approving stare. Tony clears his throat.  
“You’re solid, Peter. You’ve got the skill. And it’ll only build the longer you do it. But you’re missing one important thing.”  
“And that is?”  
“Your posture.”

“My posture?” Peter repeats. He frowns, shifting his attention to his own body. His lips part and he feels his cheeks heat up even more. “Right.”  
“When you stand upright it’s much better, but still important to keep in mind. Your neck…” Tony’s voice trails off. He puts his guitar down and walks over to Peter. Gently, he rests two fingers on his chin and gives light pressure. Peter lets it happen, tucking his chin in where Tony wants him to.   
Tony’s other hand moves to the back of Peter’s neck and his fingers trail down. Peter has to actively keep from shivering.  
“See? Your neck is elongated now. Looks much better, and ‘tis healthier too. Saves you lots of headaches later in life.”

“Thank y-”  
“Tsk tsk, we’re not done yet.” Tony teases playfully and Peter’s lips curl into a smile. Tony’s nice to be around when he’s like this; a completely different guy.   
Tony stands behind Peter now and Peter’s eyes widen when the man leans into his back. His hands cup both his shoulders and he pulls them back. Peter gulps when he feels something warm building inside his chest and he lets himself be pressed into Tony’s lower body. Tony’s fingers are warm, burning through Peter’s thin shirt.  
“Now, your back’s straight.” Tony chuckles. “Gotta tuck your chin in again, kid.”

Peter mutters a quick profanity under his breath when he realizes his neck had already released the good position. He tucks his chin back in and sighs. It feels odd to sit up so… Upright. It feels highly unnatural. Tony doesn’t let go of him, though, and the contact is nice. Makes him feel more at ease.  
“Don’t forget to breathe,” Tony whispers more softly this time. Peter laughs. He hadn’t realized he’d been holding his breath. He exhales, the soft huff ringing in his ears.   
“That’s it, Peter.”

The words cause Peter’s eyes to fly open wide. A sudden, hot surge of arousal hits him. It makes his insides tingle, his chest constrict. His groin slowly starts to show interest too and Peter doesn’t know just how fast he has to bolt from the man’s touch. He turns around to look at Tony, startled. Tony simply cocks an eyebrow.  
“You okay there?”  
“Yeah,” Peter breathes, voice tense. “I’m just not very good at keeping still.”  _ Not a complete lie.  
_ “I see.”

Something about those words makes Peter feel Tony knows _ exactly  _ what happened.

Tony simply walks back to his seat and grabs his guitar again. He strums a couple of chords and then looks up at Peter.   
“I have an idea,” he states. Peter, who still feels a bit shaky, raises his eyebrows.  
“Oh?”  
“We should play together during our set. One song. You and me shredding on our guitars. People like that shit. Would build your name more, too.”

Peter lets the words sink in for a short moment and is grateful for the subject change. It’d be amazing to do that. He already knows how to play most of their songs already, The Avengers were his favorite band, even before he started taking classes.  
“That’d be nice,” Peter starts, painfully aware of how pathetic it is that he still tries to keep his upright posture. “But we’ll switch it up. MJ and Ned get to play with you as well.”

This time, it’s Tony’s turn to frown.  
“How do you envision that?”  
“Drum battle between Steve and Ned.” Peter starts. “MJ could either have a bass play-off with Natasha or maybe sing that one song you did with Valkyrie? It’d be a nice duet and you haven’t played it in a while. Fans will like it.” Tony’s lips slowly turn into a smile. He nods.  
“I like the way you think. I’ll discuss this with management and my band, ‘kay?”  
“Sure!”  
“Good, that’s settled then. Back to your guitar classes.” Tony waves his hand dismissively. “Play the spider song.”  
“The spider song?” Peter laughs out loud. Tony sniffs and playfully shakes his head.  
“It’s hard to remember all the titles, kid.”  _ Since when had Tony started calling him kid so often? _ “Just play it.”

Peter’s fingers settle back onto his instrument and he plays. Just as Tony asked. This time, he’s more aware of the lingering gaze on him, and it makes him feel hot all over in a way he never saw coming. He likes it, he decides.

He likes it.


	13. Friendship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have as much time to write as I did at the start of this fic, but I will not abandon it so please bear with me and these slower updates alskdfaskdjf. I hope to have some more time this week!  
> -Kim

Peter groans as he throws himself face-first onto his bed.  _ His bed. _ He clutches the sheets tightly and presses his nose into the sweetly smelling cotton. He chuckles. May is experimenting with fabric softeners again, it seems. He usually dislikes the chemical scents, but now it makes him feel almost nostalgic in a way.  _ Home. _   
After more than a month of sleeping in a van and cheap hotel rooms, his own bedroom seems almost too big and luxurious, even though he is well aware that he and his Aunt are not rich. He snorts. Not in the slightest.

Peter rolls onto his side and stares at the many posters glued to his wall. He huffs when he notices his The Avengers poster. It is inherently strange to stare into Tony’s eyes like that. Of course, it  _ is _ the same person, but they couldn’t be further apart from each other. The man on the wall is absolutely nothing like the real Tony.  
“Hi,” Peter mumbles to the poster. “-it’s good to be home, isn’t it?” Obviously, he does not get an answer, and he sighs. It’s quiet. He doesn’t like it.  
He grabs his phone and swipes past the lock screen. He quickly texts May to let her know he’s arrived. He’d known she wouldn’t be here, she has to work till 7 tonight. He’s looking forward to seeing her again and he makes a mental note of ordering some takeout around 6 for the two of them.

When he’s done texting her, he feels the silence creep up on him again. So, out of boredom (and maybe because he’s a bit lonely), he opens The Arachnoids group chat.

**[3.13 p.m.] Peter: I miss you :(  
** **[3.13 p.m.] Ned: Bro  
** **[3.13 p.m.] Ned: We literally saw you ten minutes ago  
** **[3.14 p.m.] Ned: But same  
** **[3.14 p.m.] MJ: Good riddance  
** **[3.14 p.m.] Peter: Ouch  
** **[3.14 p.m.] MJ: Jkjk, you know ily  
** **[3.15 p.m.] Ned: Awwwh!!  
** **[3.15 p.m.] MJ: Don’t make me regret it  
** **[3.15 p.m.] Peter: Never**

**[3.17 p.m.] MJ: Aight, gotta go. Seeing Harley tonight!  
** **[3.18 p.m.] Peter: Have fun!!!!  
** **[3.18 p.m.] Ned: Tell him we said hi  
** **[3.19 p.m.] MJ: Will do <3**

After that, the group chat goes quiet and Peter makes a displeased noise. He feels restless. Peter knows he’s probably just tired. Exhausted even. He should take a nap. Eat. Throw his clothes into the washing machine and hope the bad stench will ever come out of them.   
Of course, he does none of that and scrolls through TikTok instead. Peter feels a little guilty about it, but he reminds himself that it’s been a while since he’s been able to do this. He hasn’t done  _ nothing _ for so many days now. He needs this. Needs the dumb scrolling, needs-

**[3.54 p.m.] Tony Stark: Hey kid, what are you up to?  
** **[3.55 p.m.] Peter: Not much tbh. You?  
** **[3.55 p.m.] Tony Stark: Do you wanna go for a walk in Central Park? I can’t stand the quiet.  
** **[3.55 p.m.] Peter: That sounds perfect omg, I need to get out too. Where? When?**

-

Peter chews on his bottom lip as he waits for Tony. The man should arrive any moment now. Peter has to admit he’s happy that Tony asked to see him. He likes to think they’ve grown relatively close these past weeks. Especially with the daily guitar and singing classes. Peter knows all too well he’ll never be a good singer, but it’s nice to get some guidance on how to lift his backing vocals to a new level.

“Space boy!”

Peter feels a smile creep onto his face as he recognizes the voice before he even consciously processed it. He turns around with a wide grin.  
“Tony!”  
“God, I’m so glad you’re here. I couldn’t stand being at home even  _ a second longer _ ,” Tony grunts, clearly frustrated even just thinking about it.  
“Maybe you should live in a dormitory if you like people around you so much, huh?” Peter jokes. Tony huffs and shakes his head.  
“You little-” Tony laughs. He looks at Peter and tuts dismissively. “Those days are far behind me, kid.”  
“You do realize you just called yourself old?”  
“Fuck you.”

Peter chuckles, far too pleased with himself as they make their way into the park. It’s a little cloudy today, but warm enough to not need a scarf or a hat anymore.   
“I like being home,” he starts. “But I can’t possibly wait three entire weeks before we go on the second leg of our tour!”  
“Me neither,” Tony smiles. “Not as far from home this time, though. I… Think our first show is in Arkansas somewhere? I’m afraid I didn’t check the schedule yet.”  
“Dallas.”  
“What?”  
“It’s in Dallas.”  
“Oh. Not Arkansas then.”  
“Nope.”  
“Shame,” Tony sighs. “I like Ark-” 

Peter frowns when the man falls silent. He looks up. Tony blinks a few times; his mouth still open where he had been speaking mere moments earlier. His attention has been caught by something in the distance. Peter follows his gaze, but he can’t figure out what the man is looking at. There are too many people, too many things happening at once.  
“Tony?’’  
“Not now.”  
“Tony, what’s wrong? I don’t-”

But then, Peter  _ does _ see it. He doesn’t know why the woman catches his eyes, but she does. She’s seated on a bench, watching her daughter play close by. But it’s not just the woman’s daughter. It’s Tony’s, too.

“We have to go,” Tony chokes out and turns around, stomping off. Peter frowns, wha-  
“Tony, wait!”  
“No, Peter, we can’t. If Pepper sees me, she’ll call the police, and I’ll be even further away from ever seeing Morgan again.”  
“She wouldn’t do th-”  
“She would, Peter. She’s done it before. Let’s go.” Tony leaves no room for discussion after that. He simply walks away. His shoulders tense and drawn up to his ears. Peter glances at the woman and Morgan once more before quickly hurrying after the man.

Only when they’ve been walking for a minute or five, Tony finally slows down a little. Peter adjusts his steps too and he is unsure of what to say.   
“I’m sorry,” Tony finally breathes, breaking their silence. “I shouldn’t have been so harsh to you.”  
“Nonono, it’s alright, Tony, I-”  
“It’s not alright. I should not take this out on you.” Tony shakes his head and scoffs. “You didn’t ask for this shit. If you want to go home, I don’t blame you. You don’t have to put up with me when I’m like-”

Peter grabs Tony’s hand. The other man freezes, and he snaps his head to look at the boy. Peter swallows.   
“Don’t put yourself down. I’m here. Voluntarily.”  
“But-”  
“ _ Tony, _ ” Peter whispers and squeezes the man’s hand. He can see a flicker of defeat cross Tony’s eyes. The man’s shoulders hunch slightly. “You panicked. For a  _ very legitimate _ reason. You don’t have to say sorry.”  
“But what if I want to?”  
“What?”  
“What if I want to say sorry? Peter, you-” Tony’s voice falters. “You-”  
“Yeah?”  
“Peter, you’re  _ still here _ . I- I don’t want to lose you.”  _ Too. _ He doesn’t say it, but Peter hears it. Tony’s eyes look watery and red, and Peter’s heart clenches. He only then realizes just how much Tony Stark sees him as more than the dude from his opening band; he sees Peter as a close friend. Someone he can talk to. Peter feels stupid for not realizing sooner.

“I’m here,” Peter confirms. “And that’s why I don’t want your apology.” Tony closes his eyes at that and lets out a shaky breath.  
“She looked happy,” he croaks out. “Morgan.”  
Peter hums and bridges the distance between them, wrapping his arms around Tony and pulls him in for a tight hug. Tony easily lets it happen. The man presses his forehead against Peter’s shoulder.  
“Hey…” Peter mumbles, gently stroking the man’s back. “It’s alright, let it all out.”

Tony does. He sobs against Peter, and Peter holds him through it. He doesn’t care about the people staring and muttering under their breaths. Tony needs his comfort, and Peter happily provides.

-

It’s a while later when Peter and Tony are seated on one of the many grass patches, looking up at the sky. The sun is slowly going down and Peter has to admit he’s starting to get hungry. He figures asking Tony if they’d have dinner together somewhere is too big of a jump.   
“Tones, I think Imma head home soon,” Peter says apologetically. Something unreadable crosses Tony’s face, and he nods.  
“Of course,” he smiles. “Want me to walk you to the metro station?”  
“Sure!”

They don’t have to walk far and Peter doesn’t mind that Tony isn’t talking much. He knows the man’s thoughts are still on his daughter; Peter hopes it won’t drive Tony into an anxiety attack later. He’s not sure how those work, exactly.   
Peter knows it would’ve been better if they’d hadn’t run into them. Their presence only rubs it into Tony’s face. Which is bad. The man can barely deal with the current situation.

“We’re here,” Peter smiles when they reach the station.  
“We are.”  
“Eh,” Peter mumbles, not knowing why it’s all so awkward all of a sudden. Tony presses his lips together and puts his hands inside his pockets.  _ No hug, then. _ “You can always text me if something’s wrong, ‘kay?”  
“Yeah,” Tony says. Somehow, his voice sounds strained. Tense. “I know. But hey, off you go, kid, you don’t wanna run late.”  
“Run late? What for?” Peter frowns. What could he possibly… Hmm. Did he tell Tony about his takeaway dinner with May, then?  
“For your date,” Tony grins. Peter rolls his eyes and shakes his head.  
“Only you would call that a date. It’s nothing special,” Peter laughs. “All I have to do is shower, dig up my boxers with music notes on them and I’m good to go.” Tony chuckles lightly and shakes his head. Still, something about his expression is off.  
“Sounds like fun,” Tony mumbles. “Guess I’ll see you later then, kid.”  
“See ya!”

Peter waits a few seconds, but it seems that Tony isn’t going to say more, and Peter decides to let him be. With an awkward wave, he turns around and walks into the station. 


	14. Raw Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More drama. I have hard times writing slow burn fics, but it seems that when it starts rolling I can't stop XDXD
> 
> Thank you all for your endless support it means the world to me omg! <3
> 
> TW: Misunderstandings, anxiety attack, mention of anxiety medication + Tony's drug allergy.

Tony notices the hint of anxiety lingering in the back of his mind as he clutches his mic more tightly. Natasha and Steve are currently playing the breakdown right after the bridge; Tony has to sing again soon.  
He tries to ignore the intrusive thoughts, but the idea that they could get the upper hand at any moment  _ is _ terrifying. He’s tired. Exhausted. Everything inside him screams to simply grab one of the pills he keeps hidden at the bottom of his backpack. It’d be so easy. Too easy. Which is exactly why he shouldn’t do it. He fears that if he takes one in a non-emergency moment like this, it’ll be the start of an irreversible drug addiction. He refuses to become dependent on them, and screw up his life along with it. He’ll have to deal with his thoughts, as difficult as that may be.

“Uhm...Tony?” Steve whispers gently. Only then, Tony realizes his bandmates have stopped playing. His cheeks flare and he looks up ashamed. The drummer puts his sticks down to rest on the snare drum. “I think we practiced enough today, didn’t we?”  
“I…” Tony tries, unsure of what to answer. He knows they did, in fact,  _ not  _ practice enough. Steve is trying to cut him some slack. Part of him wants to whisper a relieved thank you, but the other part knows that he won’t be able to stand the silence when his bandmates leave. He swallows.   
This entire situation... It’s not sustainable. At one point, probably sooner rather than later, his bandmates and crewmembers will give up on him. He loves The Avengers, and he could not bear seeing it fall apart.

His mind flickers towards Peter. The boy, almost a stranger when he found out about Tony’s problems, had been so understanding and kind. Tony wonders if Natasha and Steve might react the same way. Don’t they… Deserve to know? After all this time? Or will they despise him for not telling sooner?

_ Only one way to find out _ .

“I don’t want you to leave,” Tony starts quietly. Natasha frowns, lowering her bass. “My anxiety- it’s- bad. Very, very bad at this moment. If you’re here, it’s easier.”  
“Oh, Tony…” Natasha whispers. The earlier frustration clears from her face, and she gestures at him to sit down. Tony presses his lips together as he does so. Steve shifts on his seat slightly.  
“Your medication issue hasn’t been sorted, then? I thought you had another appointment last week?”  
“There’s nothing we can do,” Tony sighs, his voice weak. “Aside from the emergency one. Which I obviously can’t take whenever I want it.”  _ I wish I could. _ “But- there’s… There’s more. Please, don’t hate me for not telling you sooner.”  
“What is it?”  
“Steve, you remember the redhead from James’ party all those years ago?”  
“I- I think I do. What about her?”  
“She… Is the mother of my child.”

It’s dead silent. 

Natasha blinks a few times. Steve just stares at him. Tony wishes he could disappear from their pitiful gazes.  
“I haven’t seen my daughter in nearly ten months. Pepper doesn’t allow me to see her because of my medication issue.”

“Tony…” Steve whispers. “Why don’t you start at the beginning?”

-

Tony is drained. He’s lying in his bed, staring up at the ceiling blankly. After he told Steve and Natasha, it felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. They helped him tell management too, and a few crew members that had been at the studio. Everyone who Tony felt as they deserved to know.

Natasha took him home and made sure he ate something before she left. Now, he’s here. He wonders why he feels both lighter and heavier at the same time. 

Before he even knows what he’s doing, he grabs his phone and opens his chat with Peter. 

**[9.42 p.m.] Tony: I told the band about M.**

When he hits send, he regrets it instantly. Peter is probably banging Harley right now. Tony overheard Liz talk to another crew girl about Harley being madly in love. Surely, Peter doesn’t want to deal with Tony’s problems. Especially not after the pitiful jealousy he’d displayed last time they saw each other.

**[9.43 p.m.] Bambi: How’d they respond? Do you want me to call you?**

Tony hesitates.

**[9.43 p.m.] Tony: Do you have time?  
** **[9.43 p.m.] Bambi: For you, always.**

Tony hates how that makes his heart flutter in his chest. He’s got enough emotions to deal with right now, and he can’t fathom to unpack the nature of the things he may or may not feel for the kid. Not today. He-

He sits upright quickly when he sees Peter’s called ID on his screen.

“Hey,” Tony whispers as he picks up the phone.   
“Hey, Tones.” Peter pauses. “Are you alright?” Somehow, a wave of sorrow washes over Tony, and a sob rises from his chest. He clutches his sheets and presses them against himself tightly.   
“No,” he chokes out. “No, I’m not.”  
“Shit. Tony. I’m coming over. Where do you live? I-”

_ “Is that Tony? What’s wrong?”  _

Tony freezes when he hears Harley’s voice in the background. He closes his eyes and stops breathing for a second. See? Peter  _ is _ with Harley.   
“Nevermind,” Tony croaks. “I’m fine. Bye.”

He ends the call in panic and notices how his breathing becomes faster and faster. His chest constricts, and he cries out. He knows he should go and grab a Xanax now, that it’s the one thing that may be able to help him- but he’s unable to get up. Unable to even reach for the spare bottle hidden in his nightstand. His vision is blurry, white-hot flashes that he can’t make sense of. He can’t think straight. He can’t breathe. He can’t do anything. 

-

Peter stares at his phone as the call cuts off. He can see MJ, Ned, and Harley look at him, their expressions filled with worry.  
“Fuckfuckfuck,” he breathes, “-he hung up on me.” Peter knows it’s a bad sign. Tony is  _ not _ in a good place right now.  
“Harley. You know where he lives, right?”  
“Yeah, why-”  
“Give me his address. He needs me.”  
“I’m coming with you,” Harley mumbles, and he jumps up from his chair, grabbing his car keys. The roadie quickly glances at MJ and Ned, muttering an apology before he gestures at Peter. Peter quickly follows after him.


	15. Sandwich Sleepover

Tony sighs as he finally sits upright after what seems to have been an eternity. He stares at the floor and presses his lips together. He knows he should get up and get something to drink. Maybe even eat. The anxiety attack is slowly fading out, and Tony feels like he can breathe a little again. He still feels a little jittery, but he logically knows that he’ll feel a bit better soon.  
“All I have to do,” he murmurs to himself, “-is to get up.”

To his surprise, he actually manages to get out of his bed. He quickly grabs the nearest sweater he can find and closes his eyes when the soft material covers his body. He scrunches his nose a little when he pulls the hood over his head, he knows it’s ridiculous, but it simply feels too soothing.  
Tony slowly makes his way over to the kitchen and opens the first drawer to grab a pack of biscuits. It’s not healthy, but at least it’ll give him some much-needed energy to function again. He-

_ Ring! Ring! _

Tony physically flinches when the doorbell interrupts his thoughts. Oh, God. Who could that be? Tony swallows as he walks over to the door. He hopes it’s not his neighbor. Mrs. Cortes is a lovely old lady, but she only comes over when she needs help with something, and Tony doesn’t have the energy to deal with something like that today.

When he opens it, he’s even more surprised to find that it’s  _ not _ Mrs. Cortes, but Peter and Harley. His eyes widen.  
“Peter? Harls? W-What are you doing here?”  
“What am I-” Peter retorts and scoffs. Tony’s shoulders tense at the harsh tone. “Tony, you hung up on me in the middle of a panic attack, I thought…” Tony doesn’t know what to say- doesn’t want to open his mouth. He can feel his defense mechanism kicking in, and he’d hate himself forever if he said the wrong thing to them.  
“We’re worried about you,” Harley mutters, equally distant. Tony tightens his grip on the doorknob.

“Look,” he whispers. “I just didn’t want to ruin your night. I’m fine now. You can go back to-” Tony waves his hand in the air, “-doing whatever you were doing.” Harley raises an eyebrow, and he shakes his head.  
“I don’t think so. You’re not fine. Can we… Can we come in?” Tony eyes the both of them quickly and feels a heavy sensation washing over him. Could he stand seeing them together? Could he handle the jealous stinging?  
“Please?” Peter whispers. Tony sighs, cursing in his mind as he steps aside. They make their way over towards his living room. Tony tries to ignore the rising shame at the mess that is his house. Why can’t he just keep up with it?  
“I didn’t expect any guests,” he tries to joke, but Harley’s brows only furrow together more when he spots the biscuits discarded on the small coffee table.  
“Please tell me you had something else for dinner.”  
“Natasha made me a little fruit bowl.”   
“And the rest of the day?”  
“Ehhhh,” Tony sighs. “Not much.” Harley nods firmly at that and makes his way over to the kitchen. Tony can’t help but feel like a bother, but he has to admit, he  _ is  _ hungry, and those biscuits weren’t going to solve that. 

Tony slumps into a chair and evades Peter’s gaze.   
“Tony?”  
“Mmmh?”  
“Why’d you cut the call?” His voice sounds so sincere. Tony hates it. Hates everything. Goddammit. Peter is here, for  _ him _ , and all Tony does is give him some shitty, apathetic answers. The boy deserves so, so much more.  
“Didn’t want to, y’know…” He pauses for a second. “I heard you were with Harley, and I didn’t want to ruin your date.”

Tony looks down and stares at his feet. There, he said it. He low-key hopes that Peter won’t put two and two together and figure out the extent of Tony’s kindness.  _ Please _ , he thinks,  _ please let me have this friendship at least.  
_ “You- Oh God, Tony!” Peter exclaims, shocked, and Tony winces.  
“Peter, I’m sorry I don’t-”  
“Harley and I are  _ not _ dating, Tony,” Peter rushes out. “ _ Fuck _ , you thought that we were?” Tony looks up, confused. Wait. What?  
“I don’t understand?”  
“Tones, Harley is dating  _ MJ.  _ That’s why he was at my place. They both were. And Ned.” Peter explains slowly. Tony can feel the blood rush to his cheeks, and he wants to double over with shame. He completely misjudged this, judged them, over  _ nothing _ . This is even worse than the two of them being together. It has to be.

Harley walks back into the living room. Tony doesn’t even dare glance at him. The roadie puts a plate in front of him, a big ham and cheese sandwich, and stands there awkwardly.  
“What’d I miss?”  
“Nothing,” Tony croaks out. Peter, however, does answer truthfully. Tony wants to vanish.   
“Tony thought we were dating,” Peter breathes. Harley huffs.  
“You thought I was gay? Not that there’s anything wrong with that, obviously,” Harley quickly rushes out. “But I’m… Straight.”

“It all makes sense now,” Peter mumbles to himself.

“Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?” Harley asks.

“Wait, but does that mean-”

Tony jumps up from the couch, his fists balled together. He wants to scream at them to  _ stop talking,  _ but he doesn’t say a word. He simply stands there, breathing heavily, and realizes that he’s thoroughly fucked this up.  
“Go,” he hisses. “Go  _ home. _ ”

“Tony, no, we can talk about this. Please, don’t shut down on us.”  
“I’m  _ tired _ ,” Tony sobs. “I don’t want to fucking open up. I don’t want to talk right now. I just want to sleep. So please, please leave me be.”  
Peter stands up as well. He walks over to Tony silently and wraps his arms around the man’s body. Tony doesn’t have the energy to ignore the way he sinks into the embrace. He grabs onto Peter tightly.  
“Do you want me to stay the night?” Peter whispers. “Just like at the hotel. Nothing weird about needing a hug, remember?” 

Tony nods very lightly, but it’s enough for Peter to smile gently at him and nods back. Harley bites on his lips.  
“I’ll go. I’ll be back in the morning,” he says, directing it to Peter. Peter quickly says something back, but Tony barely even listens to it.

“Come, let’s get you to bed,” Peter then says to him. Tony frowns.  
“But the sandwich-”  
“You can eat it in bed. Let’s go.”

Tony follows after Peter. He feels like a child after having woken up from a nightmare, and he isn’t sure if he likes the fact that he’s allowing it to happen. He’s not used to someone  _ not _ ditching him.  
He knows that Peter deserves so much better, but he’ll take this comfort for as long as he can have it. Surely, one day, things will be brighter. They simply have to. They will. He doesn’t quite believe it just yet, but it’s something he has to hold onto.

Peter simply kicks off his jeans once they reach the bedroom and crawls under the covers so  _ casually _ , that it doesn’t feel so weird anymore. Tony hesitantly does the same thing and gratefully takes the plate with Harley’s sandwich, eating it slowly while Peter talks about his day until the plate is empty.   
“Wanna sleep, Tony?”  
“Yeah. I’m sorry,” he whispers.  
“Don’t be. C’mere.”

Tony crawls into Peter’s arms for the second time in a few months, and he closes his eyes. The warmth. The scent. The embrace. It settles the last shimmers of his previous conflictions, and Tony can feel himself melting into the touch more and more until he finally feels he starts drifting off.  
“Thank you, Peter.”  
“Anytime.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise better days are coming for Tony soon aljslsjdfsaljkdf <3


	16. Third Time's A Charm

Peter wakes up slowly the next morning. He snuggles a bit closer into the warmth until he realizes what, or rather  _ who _ radiates it. He tries to open his eyes and blinks a few times before he slowly gets used to the dark bedroom. It’s clear that it’s not nighttime anymore when small beams of sunlight find their way past the edges of the blinds.   
Tony’s still fast asleep. His face relaxed, lips parted, and a slight hint of drool staining on his pillow. It’s adorable, really. Peter can’t help but smile. 

Adorable and bittersweet. Because Peter is very aware that the minute Tony wakes up, nothing peaceful will be left on that face. Peter feels more and more helpless with each day that passes. It seems like a never-ending cycle. If only Tony had a chance to see his daughter again… Of course, it wouldn’t solve any of the underlying issues, but it’d mean the whole fucking world to Tony if he could. Peter  _ has _ to do something. Anything.

Peter grabs his phone from the nightstand and squints his eyes until he manages to dial his screen’s brightness down. He opens his chat with Harley and sucks at his teeth. Harley doesn’t know about the whole Pepper/Morgan situation yet. But… Maybe there’s something he can do for him?

**[7.37 a.m.] Peter: Harley, do you happen to have either Natasha’s or Steve’s phone number?**

He doesn’t have to wait long for a reply.

**[7.38 a.m.] Harley: Doesn’t Tony have them?  
** **[7.38 a.m.] Peter: He’s still asleep.  
** **[7.38 a.m.] Harley: Aight, gimme a second to send them to you.**

Peter smiles when he sees the contact info appear on his screen.  _ Gotcha. _ It’s idle hope, but if he doesn’t try, he’ll never know.

**[7.38 a.m.] Harley: Should I come over btw?  
** **[7.39 a.m.] Peter: Yeah, probably a good idea.  
** **[7.39 a.m.] Peter: He fell asleep fast, so that’s good.  
** **[7.39 a.m.] Peter: When will you be here? If you lemme know once you’re at the door, we might be able to let him sleep a little while longer.  
** **[7.39 a.m.] Harley: Good one. I think I’ll be there in 20 min. Will keep you updated.  
** **[7.40 a.m.] Peter: Cool, see u soon.  
** **[7.40 a.m.] Harley: Thnx Pete, for being there for him. He needs it.**

Peter smiles faintly at the last message. He has to admit that he notices it too; that Tony’s walls crumble down more and more when Peter is around. But Tony needs both of them. All his friends. His bandmates. His family.  
He chews on his bottom lip as he taps Natasha’s contact info and starts typing out his message to her. Then once he hits the send button, he copies it and sends it to Steve as well.

-

_ Hey, it’s Peter (from The Arachnoids). I’m with Tony right now, and I’m worried about him. He told me that he told you about Morgan. I wondered if you happen to know the mother. And if yes, if you have her number or e-mail, or anything that could help me contact her? The current situation will only get worse if we don’t do anything.  _

-

Everything happened incredibly fast after that. Steve texted him back that he only vaguely knew who the woman was, but that his boyfriend knew her quite well. So, Steve gave him his boyfriend’s number.  
Peter carefully sneaked his way out of his embrace with Tony and sat down in the living room to continue his little mission there. He felt fired up. Felt that  _ maybe _ this could finally lead to a breakthrough with Tony’s problems.

At one point, Harley arrived as well, and the roadie was now making the three of them a rather elaborate breakfast.   
“Tony needs to eat more. He’s lost weight,” is all he said when Peter asked. Peter hummed in agreement. He hadn’t noticed, but Harley’s known the man for a few years.

**[8.29 a.m.] James: Hi Peter! Steve gave me a heads up about your message. I know Pepper, but I didn’t know about Tony’s involvement with her daughter. I would like to speak with Tony first before I confront her about it if that’s alright. Do you think you can arrange that?**

Peter’s fingers hover over the keyboard for a few good seconds before he replies.

**[8.32 a.m.] Peter: Thank you so much for responding so fast! I’ll talk about it with him later, and I’ll keep you informed.**

“Breakfast’s ready!” Harley announces as he starts putting everything onto the table. Toasted bread, scrambled eggs, and a few more things Peter can’t see from his current position.  
“I’ll go wake him u-”

“I’m awake,” comes a quiet voice from behind him. Peter turns around quickly to find Tony standing in the doorway of the living room awkwardly. He’s wearing a simple plain grey shirt and a pair of sweats. Peter had been right earlier. The man’s face looks troubled. Yet, at the same time, a certain innocence seems to flash across Tony’s eyes when he spots all the food.

“Oh, Jesus, Harley. That’s enough food for an entire week!” Tony chuckles lightly, and Peter’s heart clenches with joy at the sound. It makes him feel all fluttery inside and- Peter’s eyes widen.  _ Uh oh.  
_ “Nope,” Harley teases back. “Gotta put some weight on you. Plus, I’ve seen how much Peter can eat in one sitting. It’s insane.” Tony cocks his eyebrow and meets Peter’s gaze. Peter smiles sheepishly, trying to ignore his pounding heart at the realization that he’s starting to like Tony.  _ Bad timing _ .  
“High metabolism,” he jokes, trying to play cool.  
“I bet.”

It’s not long before they’re all at the table. Tony seems a little jittery, and Peter frowns. Of course, things are still shit, but he’s starting to notice a small pattern in Tony’s behavior. Whenever he’s about to talk about something that bothers him, he begins to clench and unclench his left hand, sometimes rubbing his arm. It’s exactly what he’s doing right now.  
“Tony, are you alright?” Peter tries carefully. Tony stops moving, and then after a couple of seconds, he takes a deep breath.  
“No more secrets,” he whispers. “I’m done with the secrets.”

“Secrets?” Harley’s voice sounds confused. Peter knows where this is going. He decides to keep silent and give Tony his time and space to tell Harley everything. Peter is so immensely proud of the man. It’s not the first time he’s had to talk about this, and it won’t be the last. It’s a constant hurdle. A constant inner battle. And yet, Tony doesn’t give up. All this time and here he is, still fighting for himself. 

That’s how, for the third time, Tony opens up.

“I… I have a daughter.”


End file.
